


Fused at the Wrists

by Owlsofthenight



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Coming Out, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Is this considered an abusive relationship?, M/M, MMA, MMA fighting, Making Out, Rough Sex, Smut, UFC, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, apparently not a oneshot, joshler - Freeform, slight homophobia, well THAT took a 180 degree spin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2018-10-24 20:04:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlsofthenight/pseuds/Owlsofthenight
Summary: Tyler Joseph is a UFC fighter who questions his entire career after he faces a yellow haired rival..."I mean... it's normal, right?""What? To beat the crap out of each other and then make out as if nothing ever happened? Completely normal.""Okay, good. I thought so too."





	1. Double-Sided

**Author's Note:**

> I like UFC.
> 
> I like Twenty One Pilots.
> 
> This happened.

Tyler opened and closed his freshly wrapped hands, inspecting the red tape that covered the skin from the top of his palms down to his wrists before picking up his gloves and pulling them on. He flipped his hood up over his head and pounded his fists together.

His heart pounded even harder.

Eleven wins, zero losses. He planned to keep it that way, but there had been a lot of talk about his next competitor, and he couldn't just ignore it. It also didn't matter how long and hard he trained, or how many times he found himself preparing for a fight- his nerves never got better. He just learned to mask them. To play it off and not let anyone see any glimpse of weakness.

His mouth was dry, his chest was tight, sounds were muffled, but he kept himself shielded behind a cold, expressionless face as he glared across the room. He was lost in thought, a predicament he often found himself in.

He seemed to retrace every step in his memory that led him to where he was standing at that very moment. The constant fights he got into as a child at school. His apparent knack for the sport, which he picked up rather quickly after growing bored of generic wrestling. All the pent up frustration and anger that desperately searched for a way out of his bones, and in a strange way, the fighting being a catharsis for his alternative. 

"Tyler!" Michael's voice came booming into his head, causing him to spin around, "Are you ready?"

Tyler nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, why?"

"You don't seem to have your head together tonight, kid. Listen, you gotta be ready for this guy. No holding back. You may have the experience, but Dun is no joke."

"Okay." Tyler agreed after a mental eye roll. Typical coach pep talk.

"Let's roll."

He followed behind Michael, surrounded by security and other members of his team. He could hear his intro music growing louder as they approached the entrance into the arena. The hall lights faded away and transitioned into darkness as he entered into the large room. Colorful lights flashed around to the beat of the music which competed with the crowd's cheers (and even some booing) as the cage sat illuminated at the center of it all.

Tyler brushed past hands that reached out and tried to cling to his sweatshirt and grab at his arms as security did their best to keep him moving forward in the pathway. He kept his head down and his eyes up, a tip he remembered from his brother Zack to look more menacing for the cameras since he didn't care to show off during his walk, unlike most other fighters. Some would skip around, throw jabs into the air, rap, and even sometimes dance to their songs as they made their way out, but Tyler felt no desire to. He just wanted to get into the cage and do what he came there to do. It was all his mind could focus on.

Next thing he knew, they were stopped and surrounded by officials. Tyler pulled his sweatshirt up over his head and kicked his sweatpants off to reveal his black and grey shorts underneath. He stood in front of the cutman as he rubbed vaseline over his face before being handed his mouthpiece to put in. He was then checked over by the referee before climbing up a set of steps, quickly signing the cross, and entering into the cage.

Tyler raised his hands into the air, and the crowd roared.

He threw a couple of punches and switched his feet back and forth as he headed to the red corner. He could see Michael and the others getting situated into their seats, but his attention was brought over to the blur of florescent yellow at the other end of the cage.

The face was familiar from the weigh-ins, but Tyler was shocked by the dramatic change in hair color. It wasn't abnormal for a fighter to do something distinct with their hair for a fight, but a bright yellow mohawk was definitely a first for Tyler to see. His line of sight lowered to meet the gaze of the opposing fighter in white trunks. 

This guy had the benefit of weight and reach, but Tyler knew what the winning gameplan was, and he constantly played over different scenarios in his head. He had to get him to the ground and keep him there, and only pray that he wasn't as good at grappling as he was at brawling. Tyler kept a straight, unreadable face as he broke eye contact.

A man's voice came over the speakers, announcing their weight class, stats, birthplaces, and names before the referee signaled for them to come meet in the middle. A security guard made sure to keep the two separate as the referee rambled off a well memorized list of rules that Tyler was able to rehearse in his head simultaneously.

"...if you want to touch gloves, touch now." The referee instructed.

Tyler hesitated, and was slightly surprised as a glove rose up in front of him almost immediately. His competitors usually didn't bother, but he glanced at the dark brown eyes that stuck out vividly behind it and raised his glove to connect fists. The guy smirked just as the referee waved them apart to go back to opposite corners of the ring.

A smirk? Really?

Tyler shook his head and started to wonder if the expression was one of cockiness or friendliness. 

Tyler readied himself by doing a few jabs and uppercut motions as he watched Josh bounce back and forth from one foot to another. If he was nervous, he was doing a good job at hiding it. 

The referee hit his hands together and swung his arm down to signal the start of the first round. Tyler's adrenaline neared its peak as the two cautiously approached one another with fists raised.

After a few seconds of the two circling each other, Josh suddenly closed what little distance they had and threw a punch. Tyler blocked it and countered with one of his own, which barely grazed Josh's head as he ducked and wrapped an arm around Tyler's waist. Tyler gripped his arm as he stumbled backwards and hit the ground with a loud thud. Before Josh could successfully move into a better position, Tyler rolled over and shot back up onto his feet. If one of his first moves was to try for a take down, Tyler knew getting a submission was going to be more complicated than he had hoped.

He could hear Micheal yelling advice to him as well as a second voice presumably yelling at Josh. He was hearing nothing he hadn't already figured out himself as he kept his eyes fixed on his opponent, who had already tried to throw another punch.

Tyler watched carefully, waiting for an opportune moment. He jerked his shoulders and caused Josh to flinch, raising his fists up in front of his face before dropping them back down. Tyler wasted no time as he spun until the back of his heel connected with Josh's cheekbone and sent him stumbling to the side. He quickly recovered, but backed away from Tyler as he tried to get close again to continue his onslaught. Tyler assumed he felt dazed from the kick and hoped it would aid in a knockout, but Josh kept blocking his attacks.

Tyler glared into his eyes, anticipating his next move as they stood slightly off centered in the cage. Josh's face was already darkening into a bruise and some of his bright hair stuck to the sweat on his face. As Tyler went for a jab, Josh blocked him and threw a kick into Tyler's thigh. The pain was immediate and flared up every ounce of anger in him as he charged forward and sent a punch into Josh's face. His fist connected right above his eye and split the skin open. Blood began to trickle down his cheek as he landed a hook into Tyler's temple. The impact threw Tyler off balance, and a millisecond later, he felt his body being slammed down onto the hard mat again.

Tyler tried to push Josh off to get into a better defensive position, but Josh was soon hovering above Tyler's back with an arm wrapped over his shoulder and under his arm. Tyler held on tightly to Josh's leg, but Josh soon yanked it out of his grasp and abandoned the take down attempt, sprinting away before Tyler could attack.

The two took a moment of waiting for the other one to make a move before Josh threw an uppercut. Tyler dodged it and was met by a second smirk from Josh.

He snorted and shook his head, unsure of whether to be annoyed or amused by his spunky attitude. 

Tyler then shuffled back and forth on his feet before jabbing forward, only for Josh to block him with his hand.

Almost unexpectedly, Josh's leg came flying up for a kick, but Tyler managed to cut him off. He grabbed a hold of Josh's leg and sent him hopping backwards into the fence. Tyler struggled to pull the other fighter off balance as he pushed down on his shoulders, trying desperately to get away. Josh almost tipped over but hopped to the side away from the fence and kept himself upright, but with all the strength he had, Tyler yanked him down sideways onto the ground. 

Josh immediately tried to get back up, his hands on the ground and his neck fully exposed, and Tyler saw a window of opportunity open wide. He launched at Josh, swinging his arm under his chin before he had the time to duck his head down to prevent it. He felt Josh's hands tighten on his forearm and the back of his upper arm as he clamped down on the choke hold. The referee rushed over to watch Josh closely as the crowd roared at what was sure to be the end of the fight.

Tyler looked up at the clock, although the time didn't exactly matter all that much anymore. Ten seconds left in round one.

With one other exception, he had always been able to win the match within the first two minutes of the fight, but that one other exception was a champion who hadn't lost up until that point. Not a fighter who was relatively new to the sport, such as Josh.

Tyler was snapped out of thought as the referee jumped in to separate him from the nearly unconscious fighter. Tyler released his hold and allowed Josh to collapse to the ground as the referee created a barrier in between them.

Over all the cheering, Tyler could hear Michael and the rest of his team celebrating as they made their way up to him. A doctor was already at Josh's side, but he refused any help and was able to stand up. His eyes were half-open as he tried to regain his breath, his neck smudged with blood.

Tyler looked down to see half of his own arm coated in it, and despite the announcer speaking, the crowd going wild, and the referee gripping his hand up into the air in victory, Tyler could only think about how badly he wanted to get to a sink and rinse it all off.

And it was one of the first things he did.

He scrubbed and ran his arm under the faucet as cold water sprayed out and turned red before spinning down the drain. Tyler looked up into the mirror. His temple was swollen and bruised, his hands felt damaged, there were marks on his face and body that he didn't remember getting, and his thigh still felt like it was on fire. He decided it was best to just ignore that injury until he got home and could put ice on in. 

He limped out of the bathroom and finished up with everyone before changing into street clothes, collecting his things, and heading through the series of hallways to get to the back parking lot.

What was he even doing any more?

Victories used to feel so amazing. He would always feel so accomplished and proud, but as the years passed by, everything seemed to dull and become pointless. What was once a passion of his now felt like survival. He was a well trained fighter and the money was good, but the emptiness and ache that filled him after each fight, after all the adrenaline had dissipated, made him feel as though it wasn't even worth it.

Was it worth it?

"Hey!" A voice caught him off guard as it echoed down the long, empty hallway.

Tyler half-turned around, and put no effort into concealing his surprise to see Josh jogging towards him. He tilted his head in confusion and clenched his teeth as he grew closer, unsure of where this was about to go.

He let himself relax as Josh stopped a safe distance away, his posture not seeming to hint towards any hostility. Instead, it was almost sort of awkward as he rubbed a hand through his damp yellow hair. He had on a grey hoodie and similar skinny jeans as Tyler. The cut above his eye was being held together by two Steri-Strips, his cheekbone was badly bruised, and there was no blood left except for a strand of hair that appeared pink. 

Once Tyler realized he was staring, he looked down at the ground, "So, what do you want?"

Josh shrugged, "Nothing, just saw you and... wanted to say good fight." He rubbed his throat, " _Really_ good fight."

Tyler cracked an apologetic smile, "Sorry 'bout that."

Josh looked puzzled, "Why would you be sorry? It comes with the territory... right?"

"I guess." Tyler mumbled.

"What's wrong?"

Tyler glanced at him, not expecting the question. Was it that obvious?

"Nothing, why?"

"You're just... acting more like you lost a title fight or something."

"Oh."

Josh seemed to be waiting for an explanation.

"To be honest, I think I'm gonna quit."

Josh raised his eyebrows, "Oh."

"Yea."

"But, why?"

Tyler took a moment to think. He felt that all of his reasons were too long and personal to share, so he settled with something more vague, "I don't think I have it in me anymore."

"You did really good out there, though."

"It's not out _there_ , it's later on. It's just... the feeling I get after the fight. It's no longer rewarding... and I'm sick of always feeling like this." Tyler motioned to his thigh, bringing Josh's attention to the fact that he was favoring one leg over the other.

"Oh geez, you're starting to make me feel bad."

"Eh. Don't feel too bad. I won, remember?"

Josh chuckled and shook his head, "Yea, I guess you're right."

The strangest thing about this guy was that he didn't seem like the fighting type. He acted too friendly. His eyes were too soft and kind, and he didn't seem to have changed much since he was in the cage, just minus the fact that he wasn't constantly trying to knock Tyler out. That first smirk before the match must have been out of friendliness after all.

The smile on Tyler's face slowly vanished as the two stood in silence. Josh seemed to understand that their conversation had hit a dead end, so he began to take a few steps forward.

"Well, it was cool being able to fight you." Josh held out a closed hand.

Tyler returned the fist bump, "Same."

And then, instead of stepping back and creating some much needed distance, Tyler found himself taking one step even closer. It was as if he was in a dreamlike state. He couldn't remember moving, but when he came back to reality, his hand was suddenly up behind Josh's head, holding out a strand of the eye-piercing hair between his finger tips.

Tyler recoiled from embarrassment after noticing what he was doing, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I just did that."

But Josh didn't freak out, and his expression didn't read anger or judgment at all.

He just let out an airy chuckle and looked shyly at the ground, "It's a lot to take in, I know."

Tyler forced out a chuckle, but felt his face continuing to burn up with mortification.

Who does that?

Why did he have to be so weird?

Josh seemed less bothered by the act than he was at least. He hadn't taken a single step back, hadn't threatened him, and hadn't physically assaulted him, so there was a plus side to this. 

When Tyler finally worked up enough courage to pry his eyes away from the floor, he could see that Josh looked like he had something to say, but his mouth clamped shut when they made eye contact. Now, his eyes seemed to just flicker up and down over Tyler's face.

Once he figured out what Josh was doing, he had already closed the gap, but instead of a punch landing across his face, Josh was pressing his lips up against his. Tyler held his breath as Josh caused him to stumble backwards against the wall, his shoulder blades and head banging against it, causing him to wince.

Josh broke away with a gasp, "I'm so sorr.."

But before he could finish his sentence, Tyler had pulled him back in. The kisses started off slow and steady, but soon enough, their lips began to part and their hands began to travel. 

Tyler slid his fingers up Josh's back and into his hair as Josh began to kiss his neck. His hands gripped Tyler's waist, their lips meeting once again. Tyler gently bit his bottom lip as their bodies pressed up against each other, causing Josh to involuntarily moan. The sound made Tyler break away into a smile.

"Jesus Christ, Tyler." Josh whispered as he went back for more.

The kissing became more sloppy, more fast paced and frantic as Josh slid his hands up underneath Tyler's shirt before tugging at the fabric.

Tyler stopped him, his voice choppy, "Not here." 

Josh groaned in response and released the shirt, bringing his hands back down to Tyler's hips.

A sudden sound from down the hall startled the two. Tyler all but jumped out of his skin, but Josh didn't even bother to remove his hands from the other man as they spun their heads towards the source.

A janitor in a blue jumpsuit, his back turned to them, removed a mop from a yellow bucket on wheels and began to clean the floor, "I didn't see a damn thing."

Tyler squeezed his eyes shut, but the suppressed laugh that escaped from Josh's mouth sent him into full blown hysterics as well. They proceeded down the hallway towards the exit, and after a minute or so, they had managed to regain some composure.

Josh wiped his eyes, "That was great."

"Well I'm glad _you_ found it funny." Tyler grumbled, unamused.

"No, not that. I meant..."

Tyler's eyes widened, "Oh! Yea... _that_." 

"I mean... it's normal, right?"

"What? To beat the crap out of each other and then make out as if nothing ever happened?  _Completely_ normal."

"Okay, good. I thought so too."

Tyler chuckled as he fixated on Josh's hair once again as they stood in front of the door.

"What? Is there something in my hair?" Josh asked as he brushed his fingers through it.

"No. Well, yea. Sort of. You should probably dye your hair red next."

He made a face, "Why?"

"To match your blood." Tyler pointed to the discolored strand, which Josh searched for at the corner of his eye.

"Oh. Haha. That's funny. But you know what? You can't quit, Tyler."

"Why's that?"

Josh rolled his shoulders and cocked his head, "That means I wouldn't get a second chance at ending that winning spree of yours."

A sarcastic laugh billowed from Tyler as he opened the door, "That's the second funniest thing I've heard all day."

Josh followed him outside, "Wait, what was funnier than that? The janitor?"

"No, that thing I said about dying your hair red."


	2. This Broken, Tainted Skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not too sure of all the technical stuff behind the scenes of MMA fighters (their diets, exercise routines, recovery processes...) so I'm just gonna make stuff up here lol because I assure you, it is all a lot more complicated than what I'm making it out to be, but for the story's sake, I'm not gonna go too in depth on it all.
> 
> And if you didn't notice, the rating changed ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Enjoy.

Tyler was sprawled out on the couch in his living room; three ice packs resting over the thin fabric of his athletic pants as a pile of empty water bottles littered the coffee table. His body was used to the abuse. It recovered relatively quick with most bruises fading and any soreness easing up in less than a week, but the first day post-fight was always the worst.

Although he could mentally block out most of the aches and pains, he couldn't stop the limp he had developed. His thigh was swollen and tender, and a dark bruise had spread fast. It looked more as if someone had taken a bat to his femur rather than a foot, and he began to wonder how Josh hadn't broken any bones from it.

Josh. 

He couldn't help but think about him and wonder what he was doing. Images of his squinty-eyed smile and crazy hair filled his thoughts as they transitioned from the little after party they had in that hallway, to Josh's blood covered face and neck. It made his stomach churn to think that the two guys were the same person.

How were some fighters able to keep friendships when they had to fight against each other? Because if Tyler had spoken to Josh before that fight, he was positive he wouldn't have been able to even pinch him. He was also positive that what they did surpassed being just "friends".

The truth was; he could fight any stranger. It was strictly business. He could absolutely pummel them into the ground, but if he were to connect their lives and emotions to their physical bodies, he wasn't sure he'd be able to do it anymore. Maybe that was why Tyler always kept to himself and never grew close to any fighter who wasn't on his own team. The concept didn't make much sense to him, though. He just hoped if he ended up sticking with MMA, he would never have to see that face standing across from him in that cage again.

Calling a number after a three-day-wait was awkward, but  _that_  would probably be worse.

::::::::::

_One month later_

****Tyler methodically slammed his elbow into the punching bag that he straddled on the ground. Beads of sweat dripped down his face as his shirt stuck to his back.

"Okay, Tyler. That's good for today." Michael declared after silencing the stop watch he wore around his neck.

"Huh? I'm just getting started." He panted.

Michael shot him a side glare, "I'm all for you training this hard, but you gotta watch how much stress you put your body under. Don't wanna backtrack for that fight with Holloway."

Tyler reluctantly stood up and shook out his arms, "Fine."

After showering and changing, Tyler met Michael at the front of the gym as he was getting ready to lock up. 

They stepped outside into the back alleyway, and Tyler was shocked to see that it was dark out, "Wait, what time is it?"

"Late. I wasn't joking when I said you needed to give it a rest."

Tyler shrugged, "So where are we meeting tomorrow?"

"No where."

"What?"

"You need to take a couple days off, Tyler. We'll continue this Thursday."

Tyler tightened his jaw but didn't bother to argue with him. It was like arguing with a brick wall, except this one could throw back snarkier remarks. He just accepted his word and said goodbye before heading to his car and driving home.

He threw his keys on the kitchen counter as he made his way through to the living room and collapsed on the couch. Two whole days off, and that wasn't a good thing. When his mind and body weren't busy training, or exhausted past the ability to function properly, things got to be too much for him. He'd get impatient and stressed out over the pettiest things because his brain had been allowed the time to process and overthink them.

On the sort-of-bright side, it looked like he'd finally be getting some time in on his poor, neglected piano that sat in the corner across from the television, which was also very neglected.

Unless...

Tyler slid his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed a number he had permanently stored in his memory.

"Hello?" A tired voice eventually answered.

"Zack! What's the address for that gym downtown?"

"Tyler? Dude, it's like... midnight. What the-"

"Come on Zack, just tell me."

He sighed loudly into the phone, "Alright, I'll text it to you. And I won't tell Michael."

"I have no idea what you're insinuating." 

"Yea, yea. Just don't drag me under the bus when he finds out."

"He won't."

"Whatever. Now pretend you're a normal human being for once and go to sleep."

Tyler chuckled, "I will. Goodnight."

"Night." 

:::::::::: 

Tyler didn't remember falling asleep, but he lifted his head up off the couch cushion to a fully illuminated room. It was too bright to be early morning, and the time on his phone screen confirmed it. Almost noon. He never slept in this late, and he immediately felt anxious for having done so.

He did his best to catch up on his daily routine; he took his vitamins and supplements, ate a well balanced lunch to try and make up for the breakfast that was skipped, and packed up a gym bag before changing into a tank top and sweatpants.

He entered the address Zack had texted him into his GPS and soon found himself in a crummy section of the city. He had to park a few blocks away, and as he walked down the street with his bag slung over his shoulder, he received a handful of double takes. Thugs didn't seem to want to mess with him as he passed by, but he continuously prayed silently that his next fight wasn't going to happen any sooner than anticipated. Was he really that desperate to get to a gym?

Yes.

He just hoped it wasn't going to be with a knife stabbed into his side.

He saw a large brick building and recognized it from Zack's description. He left the sidewalk and headed down the alleyway and up to a heavy metal door with a logo graffitied onto it. Well, it was definitely an underground gym alright.

Tyler entered into what was essentially a replica of his usual gym; a section for cardio, a seperate one for weights, a padded area with multiple different punching bags, and a cage set up in the back of the large room. The only real difference was that the equipment seemed more aged, the mats were a little worn, and the people were all strangers. However, he apparently wasn't a stranger to them.

"Tyler? Tyler Joseph?" A middle aged guy who looked like he could bench press Tyler a couple hundred times made his way over.

"Uh, yea. Hi." Tyler accepted his handshake.

"Man, what brings you here?"

He tried to think of a good excuse on the spot, "I uh... I just wanted a change, you know? Heard about this place and decided to check it out."

The man snorted, "Well, it's definitely nothing as fancy as what you're probably used to."

Amomgst a small group that had formed, Tyler noticed someone with a patch of messy red hair who had stepped out from behind them.

"Josh?" Tyler almost didn't say it loud enough for anyone else to hear.

Josh looked like a mix between excited and confused, "What are you doing here?"

The man stepped in between them, "Listen, I know you two fought each other before, but you're gonna leave all the drama outside of my gym. Got it?"

"No, no, we're friends Greg. It's alright." Josh explained as he made his way over.

"Hi." Tyler smiled.

"Hi." Josh echoed back before noticing everyone still staring, "So... what? Is everyone just gonna stand around all day and act like they've never seen a UFC fighter before?"

The group began to break up and go back to what they were doing while Greg stayed behind.

Josh rolled his eyes, "Why doesn't everyone do that when _I_ walk in?"

"Win yourself a belt and they just might, kid." Greg laughed as he patted him on the shoulder before leaving.

Josh shook his head, feigning disappointment as Tyler began to chuckle, "Can't get any respect around here, I'm telling ya."

"I see you took my advice."

Josh tilted his head, but sudden realization hit, "Oh, the hair?"

"Yea." Tyler laughed.

Josh could only offer a shy smile before motioning for him to follow as he walked over to the punching bag area, which Tyler assumed was where Josh had been based on the gloves he was wearing. Tyler took a seat on one of the bags laying across the ground as he watched Josh begin to throw punches into one that was hanging.

"So seriously, not like I'm upset you're here or anything, but..." Josh paused, "What _are_ you doing here?"

Tyler rested his elbows on his knees and checked to see if anyone was within earshot, "Kinda can't go to my gym right now."

Josh squinted, "How come?"

Tyler scratched the back of his neck, "I was told to take a few days off. My coach doesn't like it when I don't listen to him."

"Oh, I know that feeling." Josh threw a few quick jabs followed by a hook, hopping from foot to foot before repeating it again, "Why would you refuse something like that, though?"

Josh glanced over after not receiving an answer, so Tyler shrugged, "I dunno. Just want to make sure I'm ready for this next fight."

"Max Holloway?"

"Mhm." 

Josh swung his hands down to his side, "Defending the title, huh?"

"Yup." Tyler popped the p, "When's your next fight?"

"Next Saturday." 

"Oh wow. That soon?"

"Yea, but I couldn't pass it up. Looking forward to knocking this jerk out."

"One of those, huh?"

Josh nodded as his punches picked up in intensity. Tyler watched the way his biceps flexed and shook upon impact, and appreciated the shirt with oversized armholes that he had on. The gash on his forehead was mostly healed, leaving behind a thin scar. The red hair was definitely a change, but he liked the way it looked on him.

"Tyler?" 

"Huh?" He didn't even hear what he had said before his name, and with the way Josh rested his hands on his hips and chuckled to himself, he knew he had been caught gawking.

"I asked if you were gonna work out at all."

"Uh, yea." Tyler stood up with his backpack, "I'll go get warmed up."

After a decent routine of stretches and cardio, Tyler looked for Josh and found him over at a section of mats with another fighter, practicing different submissions. Yet again, Tyler found himself watching a little too intently. Josh was flat on his back, perpendicular to the guy who's chest he currently had his legs over, his hands death gripping the guy's wrist as he forced his arm in a way that was not anatomically correct. The hand that was free slammed against the ground multiple times, signaling for him to stop, and Josh complied instantly.

"God, Josh. Damn near snapped my arm!" He complained as he stretched and rotated it around.

"Oh come on. That took, like, no effort, Jordan. Stop being such a wuss."

"Hey Joseph, kick my brother's ass for me, would ya?" Jordan asked as he walked away, still soothing his arm.

"Payback for my leg, bro!" Josh shouted.

Tyler aimed a thumb over his shoulder, "That was your brother?"

"Yea, sadly." Josh said jokingly, "So... you gonna show me some of your amazing skills, Sensei?"

"I would, but I don't think you'd be able to handle it."

Josh bowed, "Teach me, master."

"You're such a nerd." Tyler teased as he moved to stand in front of him, "So what do you want to-"

Josh caught Tyler completely off guard as he slammed him down to the ground, but Tyler reacted quickly and crossed his ankles behind Josh's neck, one of his arms getting trapped as well, preventing him from pulling away. After struggling for a moment, Josh successfully freed his arm and slipped his head out. He rushed to his feet, but Tyler was already there again, swiping a leg out from under him. Before he could even blink, Tyler had Josh's leg locked and was beginning to pull.

"Ow!" Josh yelped, causing Tyler to immediately let go.

"Are you okay?" Tyler asked, his voice filled with concern as he went to help him up.

Josh tackled Tyler again, ending up with his legs locked around the front of him as he attempted to get an arm beneath his chin for a choke hold.

"Cheater!" Tyler's voice was strained as he tried to fight him off.

"But it really did hurt, though." 

As Josh's arm squeezed Tyler's face even harder, he elbowed Josh's ribs and caused him to loosen his hold just enough to escape. 

The two kept their distance as they stood at the ready, Josh holding his side, "And you're calling _me_ a cheater?"

Tyler smirked, "But it really did hurt, though."

"That's it, you're going down." Josh growled as he charged at him.

Tyler side-stepped last minute and jumped onto Josh's back as they both fell to the ground. Josh managed to roll over as Tyler sat on his lower stomach and got ready to grab his arm, but they both froze.

"Josh... are you..." Tyler felt a wave of heat pass through his body.

Josh looked down, and then back up at him, "Um..."

"Your place, or mine?"

"Mine." 

::::::::::

The door to the apartment slammed open as Tyler held the back of Josh's head and continued to kiss him up and down the neck. He dropped his bag as Josh threw his keys and kicked the door shut, and the two stumbled over each other as they tried to get to a piece of furniture. 

They ended up at a couch as Josh's hands moved underneath Tyler's tank top. Tyler pulled it off, resuming the kiss without skipping a beat while Josh rubbed his hands over Tyler's sides. Tyler moved back to his neck, gently nipping at the skin before kissing his collarbone and running his hands under the hem of his still-sweaty shirt. Josh just about ripped it off as Tyler's hands continued to travel up to his chest, right before they traveled down again. Like, _down_ down.

"Oh my God, Ty." Josh breathed as a hand slipped underneath the band of his sweatpants.

"Is this alright?" Tyler was pretty certain he knew the answer, but wanted to make sure.

"Yea, it's-" Josh cut out as Tyler grabbed him and began a rhythmic motion.

Josh leaned forward enough to catch Tyler's lips once again as he ran his fingers through his short, brown hair. Their tongues mingled for a brief moment before Tyler sped up his pace and sent Josh moaning into his mouth. 

The sound alone was enough to make Tyler's stomach flutter, but he was beginning to realize that there wasn't much about this guy that didn't give him that feeling. His eyes, his hair, his arms, the scar on his face. Every inch of his body was captivating to Tyler, and he had tried so hard to control and suppress those thoughts. Even during their fight, he couldn't help but feel almost reluctant to go up against such an attractive individual. 

The subtle movements Josh was making told Tyler he was getting close, so he went back to sucking gently on Josh's neck, and not long after, he felt warmth on his hand. After a few more soft kisses under his jawline, Tyler planted a long kiss on his lips.

"You're amazing, Tyler."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One could not help but notice how compromising grappling is... let me know your thoughts on that last part because it's honestly the dirtiest thing I've ever written lol any future sexy time scenes probably won't be worded like your typical smut, just an fyi.
> 
> And on a completely different note, I chose Max Holloway to be the one Tyler was going up against because I can totally see those two standing in the same room together. 
> 
> Next chapter is already typed up, just need to edit it. Will post it Friday!


	3. What's Behind my Skull

Whether it was due to his light snoring, a sudden sound from the other room, or something that had happened inside a dream, Tyler jolted awake. His eyelids remained heavy as he stared down at the pillow he had his arms under. It wasn't one of his own, and memories from the previous night allowed him to regain his bearings.

This was Josh's bed, but Josh wasn't in it. He remembered them snuggling on the couch and then complaining to Josh about how tired he was, which must've meant that he had been moved there after passing out. 

Tyler had a thing for just falling asleep whenever and wherever lately.

He sat up and tried to pat down his bedhead the best he could as he took in his surroundings. It was a typical man's bedroom; just the essentials, monochromatic everything, and clothes strewn over the floor. Speaking of clothes, Tyler realized he was still only wearing his sweatpants from yesterday, which was actually kind of gross. His skin crawled and yearned for a shower, but he thought it would be best to find Josh first.

Tyler stretched as he clumsily walked over to the door and glanced back and forth before spotting him in the kitchen. His hair was wet, a towel hung around his shoulders, and he was in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. Was Josh  _trying_ to kill him? Thus, Tyler refrained from looking down as he made his way over to the center island as Josh ignited a burner and began to crack eggs into a bowl. 

Anyways, what was the difference between those and their fighting shorts?

 _Josh's shorts weren't as tight as these boxers_.

Tyler cleared his throat, "Morning."

"Morning! Want some breakfast?" Josh threw some bread into a toaster oven and poured the eggs into a frying pan.

"Sure."

"Feel any better? You konked out as soon as you laid down last night. I felt bad and didn't want to wake you up."

"Yea, sorry about that. I didn't mean to." Tyler watched as he began to cut up tomatoes and spinach and add them in with the eggs.

"It's fine, just wish it wasn't such a mess in here. I honestly haven't been here that much. Just to eat and sleep really."

"I know what that's like."

"Yea, I know you do... hey, you can go take a quick shower if you want. The clothes on the chair in my bedroom are clean, I promise."

"I'll gladly take you up on that offer. I feel disgusting."

"Well, you don't _look_ disgusting."

The compliment made Tyler blush as he pushed away from the counter with a sigh of disagreement. He returned to the bedroom and picked up random articles of clothing until he had a completed outfit, thankful for their similar body types which made their wardrobes interchangeable. That wasn't the worst thing in the world, but it did make him wonder what the heck he was doing with his life lately. Kissing, groping, sleeping over, and soon to be wearing a previous opponent's clothing like it was nothing. Again, _completely_ normal.

By the time he was done showering and getting dressed, two plates of food were waiting on the kitchen table as Josh set glasses of water down and took a seat. Tyler found his bag and shoved his dirty clothes inside before joining Josh.

"Thanks." He said before taking a bite of the omelet.

"No prob."

It was then that Tyler realized he had only eaten once since yesterday. He really needed to get back on track with his strict routine and diet. Now was not the time to deviate away from it. Not with his up-coming fight later that month. He couldn't afford any weight fluctuations or muscle loss, and Michael would be quick to turn his life into a living hell to make up for it.

"So what'd you think of the gym?" Josh asked.

Tyler shrugged with a grin, "It's fine, as long as you survive the walk there."

"Oh come on, it's not that bad. You're just not used to real city life. I was practically raised in that gym. Been going there for as long as I can remember."

"I'm only kidding, I liked it. So, how long has your brother been fighting?"

"Quite a while now. He doesn't really plan on taking it anywhere, though. Just does it for fun and to stay fit."

"That's pretty cool, though. Must be nice sometimes to have a brother who gets it. My brother Zack just picks on me. He enjoys recording all my fights and nit-picking absolutely every mistake I make. I'd strangle him if I had to listen to him during a fight."

Josh slowed down his chewing and took a moment before speaking again, "Were you still thinking about quitting?"

Tyler raised his glass to his lips before lowering it without taking a sip, "I'm not sure. I was having a bad day. Haven't really put much thought into it since then."

"I know it's not my place, but I don't think you should. You're really good at what you do, Tyler. Your career isn't ready to end yet."

Tyler only shrugged.

"So, what do you mean you were having a bad day? What happened?"

Tyler seemed to grow more and more subdued with each question, which Josh began to curse himself for, "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"No, it's alright. I've just... been dealing with some stuff mentally. I don't really know how to explain it. It just... wares me out sometimes."

Josh could see a tiredness grow in his eyes, and it wasn't from a lack of sleep either. He never would have guessed that someone like Tyler Joseph, current reigning featherweight champion, would have anything less than a perfect life. He felt stupid for how ignorant he could be sometimes. He did, however, manage to lighten the mood with a change of subject and had Tyler laughing by the time their plates were empty.

He took the dishes to the sink to wash as Tyler lifted himself up onto the counter to sit next to him. 

"So, what are you doing today?" Josh asked as he rinsed off the forks.

"Haven't really gotten that far yet. How 'bout you?" 

The sound of the front door closing sent both of their heads whiping around.

"Hey Josh, it's just me. You're door was unlo-" The man called out, up until he came across the sight in the kitchen. 

Tyler's eyes widened when he recognized who it was.

Josh's coach.

He slid off the counter and fidgeted uncomfortably. He gave the guy an upnod and half smile, which was so imperceptible, it probably looked like a twitch.

"Geez, Dad. Come right in, why don't ya." 

Dad?!

Tyler's head swung around to stare at Josh, who finished rinsing the plates and set them in the drying rack.

"I'm pretty sure you know Tyler."

"Uh... yea. Yea, I do." The man appeared to be completely befuddled as he finally turned his gaze away from Tyler, "Hey, uh, Josh... can I talk to you in the other room?"

Josh glanced back and forth between the two of them before tugging the towel off of his neck and tossing it onto the counter, "I'll be right back."

Tyler nodded and still couldn't quite figure out what to do with himself. He kind of felt like melting into a puddle and evaporating out of sight, but that was, regrettably, physically impossible.

Josh stepped into the guest bedroom, the less messy of the two bedrooms, and closed the door.

His father held his temples between his thumb and middle finger with his eyes squeezed shut, "Josh, what the hell?!"

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'? What is going on here?!" He whisper-shouted. Not angrily, but rather bewildered.

Josh squinched up his face, "Dad, you knew I was gay."

"What?! No! That's not what I'm talking about right now! I don't care that you're gay. Hell, I don't even care that you're in just your underwear with some other guy wearing your clothes! I'm just... it's _Tyler Joseph_ , Josh!"

"Yea... I think we've already established that."

"What in the world are you doing with Tyler Joseph?! Wait! For the love of God, don't answer that!"

Josh let out a laugh, "Dad! Just relax. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that he's your biggest competitor. That is, unless he loses the title to Holloway. Wha... how... since when were you two this friendly with each other?"

"Since I caught up to him in a hallway after the-"

"Stop! I don't want to know that, either! Josh, what are you thinking? You can't just... are you guys dating?"

Honestly, Josh wasn't sure what to call it. He wasn't even sure what Tyler called it, either. Was this a real thing? Or just messing around? A sad feeling started to fill his chest at the thought of that. He knew things moved fast, and knew how crazy this whole situation was, but he really wasn't aiming on setting himself up to get used. It took him a while to get over the make out session they had, and how it seemed to have gone no where. Tyler disappeared and Josh had gone back to his usual day to day business, calling it a loss. It was his fault, anyways, for not speaking up as Tyler left. But that all changed when he had popped back into his life less than twenty four hours ago.

"I... I don't really know, actually." He finally admitted out loud.

He must have sounded pretty bummed out, judging by his father's change in tone, "Josh... I just don't want to see you get hurt."

Josh shot him an incredulous look.

"I meant emotionally, and outside of the cage." He clarified.

"I know, Dad. I just... haven't really talked to him about it yet."

His father squeezed his shoulder, "I know from experience that I can't exactly stop you from doing what you want to do, but I need you to think long and hard about all of your accomplishments, and everything you've been working towards. Everything you have to lose and gain."

Josh nodded as he stared at the ground, "Are we done?"

His dad sighed, "Yea. We're done."

The two walked out of the room and headed into the living room where Tyler was sitting on the couch, but stood once they entered.

"So, what did you come here for anyway?" Josh asked.

His father exhaled, "You're brother called me when I was just a few blocks away, so I figured I'd just swing by and tell you in person instead of over the phone. He broke his leg."

"What?! How?"

"Laid out his motorcycle earlier this morning. He's fine, the leg is the only thing he hurt. He didn't even call me until he got out of the hospital."

Josh frowned, "I never liked that thing. He's okay though?"

"Yea, he's fine. Abigail is already over at his place helping him out. I'm probably going to come across a murder scene when I drop by there later, but hopefully she cuts him some slack since he's in a cast."

"Well, thanks for telling me."

"Of course. Now, I really got to get going. Meeting up with Greg. I'll see you first thing tomorrow, got it?"

"Yes sir." Josh replied.

"And Tyler, I'm sorry... it just... it kind of threw me for a loop seeing you here, you know?"

Tyler brushed off the poor attempt of an apology, "It's all good."

"Take care. Good luck against Max." He said halfheartedly as he headed for the door.

"Thanks."

Once the door closed and they were alone, Josh let out a loud sigh and vigorously rubbed his head, "I am _so_ sorry about that."

"I don't think your dad likes me."

Josh slumped down into the couch and Tyler joined him, "No, it's not that."

"Then what did he talk to you about?"

"Just... things. Like, the fact that it's painfully obvious there's something going on between us. He pretty much just reiterated how strange it was that you're here... because of who you are"

"Oh." 

Josh chewed the inside of his lip as he drifted off into thought. Apparently for a little too long, seeing that Tyler picked up on it.

"Josh, what else did he say?"

"Hmm?"

"Something's bothering you." 

"It's nothing... it's just..."

Josh almost didn't want to ask. He didn't want to hear an answer he wouldn't like, and the question felt out of place and awkward. He wasn't sure how Tyler would react to it. He wished that his father wouldn't have mentioned it, because now he was hanging on it, and his curiosity was growing stronger.

"What are we? What do you call this?" Josh couldn't stop himself as he motioned between them.

"I... I don't know. What do you want it to be?"

Josh shrugged and dropped his gaze, "I'm not sure. I just... didn't know how you felt."

Tyler began to scratch the back of his neck, looking as though he was putting just as much thought into it as he was, "Well... maybe we can just figure it out as we go. You know, maybe get to actually know each other better. Slow things down..."

Josh chuckled, "Yea, that wouldn't be a bad place to start." 

He was relieved. Relieved that Tyler didn't up and leave right then and there after coming to a realization that what they were doing was really sick and twisted. That there was no possibility of anything ever existing between them because of what they did for a living. It was all pretty overwhelming when you looked at it from that perspective, but for right now, Josh was content to think that there was a possibility at all.

He felt a hand tousle his hair, leaving it standing up on all ends like rising flames off his scalp.

He gave Tyler a short-lived smile, "Guess I should also put some clothes on."

"Clothes are overrated."

"That's what I say too, but people always threaten to call the cops when I go out like this."

Tyler doubled over in laughter and Josh grinned. He really enjoyed hearing that sound.


	4. Take my Soul and Make it Undone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this chapter yesterday, but I forgot... 
> 
> http://38.media.tumblr.com/351c56ff1ecc95624a032f535e24293a/tumblr_mxf6ojLtln1r6i8tgo2_r1_500.gif

Josh sat with his back against the wall, using the inside of his shirt to dry off his face. Tyler sat a few feet to his left and offered him his water, which he quickly accepted.

It had become his new routine.

When he was done with what felt like a full day's worth of training, he would get together with Josh back at his place and _keep_ training.

He was sure it would be frowned upon, and maybe even against the rules for them to be doing this, but Tyler's living room had now been transformed into a makeshift gym.

The furniture had been rearranged to make room for all of the mats and equipment, and although they didn't break their necks as if their coaches were hounding them, Tyler was still adamant to help improve Josh's skills and techniques for his next fight. He could already tell that his grappling had gotten better and that his stamina had over all increased, but Tyler wanted to see him win this time, and he was going to try his hardest to see it happen.

"I really am sorry about that." Josh said remorsefully as he handed the water back.

Tyler stared at the shattered remains of the floor lamp across the room, and as soon as he opened his mouth to say something, he tried to stifle a laugh but the image of Josh tumbling across the ground and bumping into it caused him to burst out laughing.

He looked over to Josh, who was biting his tongue in a wide grin, "It's fine. Didn't really like it anyways."

"I guess we miscalculated how much room we had for activities."

Tyler snickered, "Nah, there's _at least_ another square foot now that the light's gone."

"That's looking on the bright side."

"Puns."  

Even when they were exuding a tremendous amount of energy while wrestling or practicing other routines, Tyler enjoyed Josh's company. It seemed like they were always laughing or joking about something. He was always upbeat and cheerful, even when he looked exhausted.

They continued to "take things slow", with some times being harder than others, but it began to feel more real to Tyler. Like two pieces of a puzzle coming together and starting to form a clearer image. The hardest part of it all was feeling like he had to keep it a secret. 

From family.

From everyone in the UFC.

He wanted so badly to bring Josh with him to family events, to hold his hand out in public, to even kiss him in the gym- but this world was no fairy tale, and he knew it. He was afraid of it.

What would his family think? There would have to be a dredded "Oh, no. I'm actually totally into dudes, too" speech, as well as a "Yea, he's also totally the same guy I busted up like two months ago" explanation to follow. He knew his family loved him unconditionally, but that wouldn't be his favorite way to test it. Not yet, at least.

It felt like a switch had flipped inside of him. He never questioned his sexuality- never felt the desire to kiss another man... until Josh. There was something different about him, and Tyler couldn't formulate it into words.

It didn't even feel like there _were_  words for it.

It was something that words couldn't touch. Maybe not love, because they had only known each other for such a short time and seemed to have started off the relationship a bit backwards, but it certainly felt like the beginning of something. Something Tyler had never felt with anyone else before.

He didn't know what made him reach out and touch his hair that day. He didn't know what had caused him to drag him back into that kiss. He couldn't understand what made him long for his contact so desperately, and he sure as heck didn't know what had gotten into him back at the apartment; but he knew that it felt good. He felt genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.

"I can't feel my arms." Josh broke the fatigue-induced silence as the two stared blankly at nothing in particular.

"I can't feel my legs."

Josh fought back a smile, "I can't feel my face when I'm with you..."

Tyler glared at him, "If you don't stop singing that song, I swear to God."

Josh laughed as he stood up, twisting his back and stretching out his sore muscles,  "I should probably clean up my mess before I go."

"Nah, I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm."

Josh rubbed his hands together, "Well, in other news... I think I'm starting to figure out how you think inside the cage."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know," he pretended to act smug, "I feel like I'm being told all of your secrets. Might be useful in the future to use against you."

Josh seemed to wait for a comeback. After not receiving one, he turned to see Tyler quietly picking at the label on his water bottle, seeming to be suddenly dispirited.

"I didn't really mean... I was only joking..."

"I know, it's okay."

"No it's not, that was stupid of me to say."

Tyler leaned his head back against the wall, pulling his knees up and resting an elbow on one of them as he twirled his disheveled hair between his fingers.

The more they hung out, the easier it became for Josh to pick up on all his different emotions. Tyler had a list of stress-induced ticks, such as biting his nails and scratching at his neck, and Josh had already begun to take a mental note of them all.

He was usually good at controlling his own fidgetiness, but Tyler didn't seem very aware of what he was doing after slipping into a quiet state. He always looked as though he was off in deep thought, waging a silent battle in his own mind. It seemed to always end with one of two scenarios; Tyler snaps out of it with no recollection of his thoughts, or Tyler hesitantly talks about what he was thinking.

It appeared to be the latter this time as Tyler switched from playing with his hair to rotating the water bottle around in his hand, "Can you... do you think you can fight someone you know? Like..."

"Like going up against someone I'm close to?"

Tyler nodded.

"Well I've kicked my brother's butt a couple of times back in the cage at the gym. I consider us close, but I'm pretty sure I busted him up good that one time..."

"How do you do it?"

"Easy, I just try to high-five his face with my fists."

"No, I mean... how do you get past the fact that he's your brother? That, like, you have to go against your protective brotherly instincts to hurt him?"

"Oh. I'm not sure. Just... never really thought about it like that before. We just grew up around it our whole lives... It's just a sport. I'd go against him in anything else, so why not this?"

Tyler didn't seem satisfied with that answer as he shrugged.

"Why? ...Is it because of what I said? If you and I ever go up against each other again?"

He looked up at Josh with a sigh, "I don't think I could do it."

Josh's facial expression didn't change, but he froze in place, "You... can't fight me? But we've been training together-"

"It's not the same, Josh. I mean actually trying to hurt each other. Wait, would _you_ be able to?"

"Well... no, not after hearing you say that..." Josh trailed off.

Tyler stood up and walked over to him without making eye contact, taking a moment before speaking softly, "I feel so... lost." 

Josh tilted his head, "What do you mean, Ty?"

"Just..." Tyler blinked and a tear escaped the corner of his eye, which he was quick to wipe away in the hopes that Josh wouldn't have seen it, "It's just... everything."

Tyler rubbed his head frantically and closed his eyes to fight away his flood of emotions, but the feeling of Josh's arms wrapping around him broke him open like a dam. He let his hand fall down to his side as he rested into Josh's shoulder. His mind was traveling in circles, which wasn't something he wasn't used to by now, but why did it have to happen in front of Josh? Out of everyone in his life right now, he really didn't want _him_ to see how much of an emotional mess he could be.

Josh kissed the side of his head, his voice full of concern, "It's okay, Ty. I didn't mean to make you upset."

"It's not just that, though." Tyler's voice was muffled as he tried to stop crying.

"Is it us?"

Tyler seemed to backtrack in his efforts and let out a sob.

Josh frowned, "It is, isn't it?"

"Not like that." Tyler's voice cracked on the last word. He picked up his head and tried his best to clean up his face with the back of his hands, "I like you a lot, Josh. I really do. To the point that I feel like... I've discovered a whole new side of me that I didn't know existed. I mean, for starters, I never... did anything... with another man before."

Josh raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Really?"

"Yea, really." Tyler answered defensively, although his voice was broken.

"Sorry, it's just... I thought you did. Just with the way you were when we... I mean, it's no big deal or anything... obviously... unless..."

Tyler smiled slightly at the way Josh had gotten flustered, "Like I said, I really like you... enough that I feel really uneasy thinking about what can happen... in the future... UFC wise."

Josh tightened his hold around Tyler, "Don't even worry about that right now, we'll figure it out. Maybe we can just get into a stupid argument with each other right before the fight. Really tick each other off and give them all a good show." 

Instead of getting frustrated with Josh's lack of seriousness, Tyler began to chuckle. Josh had a delayed laugh, to which Tyler stared at him questioningly.

He shook his head, "It's nothing. Just thought of something funny that I probably shouldn't say out loud."

"What is it?"

"No, it's inappropriate."

"Oh, just spit it out!"

"Okay, okay... was just thinking, I'd do it just for the possibility of make-up sex."

Tyler felt his face turn beat red as he dropped back down into Josh's shoulder, "We haven't even done anything like that yet, and that's the first thing that crosses your mind?"

"Hey. A guy can dream, right?"

Tyler looked up and was met with an infectious, squinty-eyed smile that was impossible to get mad at. The same smile that sucked Tyler in deeper and deeper each time he saw it. It was perfection, and Tyler couldn't deny it even if he wanted to; he was falling for Josh. Hopelessly and helplessly falling for him.

He leaned in and rested his forehead against Josh's, flashing a brief smirk before finding their lips pressed together.

Josh brushed his thumb over Tyler's ear and cradled the back of his head while Tyler wrapped his arms around his torso, deepening the kiss.

All of Tyler's worries and fears melted away as comfort and peace took over. It didn't seem like much mattered in the world during times like this. All of the negative thoughts and feelings, all of the forces around them, were momentarily balanced out. He felt like he could float off the face of the planet and not even care or notice.  

He did care, though, at the sudden lack of Josh at his mouth. Tyler opened his eyes as Josh kissed his forehead, and Tyler tightened his arms around him. 

Josh let out an exaggerated sigh, "I have to get going. Family stuff."

"Jordan?"

"Yup. Picking him up from a doctor's appointment since he can't drive. Probably gonna drop by to see my mom too since we'll be up that way."

"You're staying here. Your brother can walk... _hop_." Tyler mumbled into Josh's neck.

Josh laughed, "Aw, don't be crabby. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

Tyler didn't answer, and he didn't loosen his hold around him.

"Tyler!" Josh chuckled as he squirmed until Tyler whined and let go, "I'll text you later, okay?"

"Okay." 

After one last kiss, Josh headed out the door and Tyler was left standing alone in the not-such-a-living room. The worries, fears, and negative thoughts crept their way back home. He was used to being alone, but after spending so much time with Josh and discovering how much better it felt to be around him, he didn't like being his only company anymore.

Tyler eventually brought himself to go take a shower and change into clean clothes before having a quick snack and downing more water. He sat at the counter and stared off towards the makeshift gym area.

He was going to have to put the room back together and put all of the equipment and mats away before anyone else saw, but the motivation was minimal at the moment and he swore to do it tomorrow at the latest. Josh's fight was in three days, and the week before a fight was usually spent recovering, cutting or gaining the last few pounds for weigh-ins, and mentally preparing- so there was really no need to continue with any more heavy workouts in the meantime.

Just as his nerves kicked in at the thought of watching Josh fight Saturday, Tyler's eyes locked onto the metal post and shards of glass still on the ground.

Maybe he should at least pick that up.

He grabbed a trash bag from under the sink and a broom before carefully sweeping up the small fragments. He set the metal piece of the lamp off to the side, looping the chord loosely around it, and began to pick up the larger pieces.

He tossed them one by one into the plastic bag up until he felt a sting on his wrist. He first looked down at the triangular shard he had dropped, and then to the growing red line on his skin. He picked the glass back up and studied its bloodied edge. A familiar, and very unwanted feeling developed in his psyche as he practically watched the flashbacks on a movie projector in his mind.

The endless nights. The razors. The arguments.

He had been over it for a while. Left the past in the past and kept his skin intact.. well, from his own doing at least. He kept his mind busy and his body busier. He had found a new method to feel alive and cope with everything when life got to be too overwhelming, but there was now a painful reminder dripping down onto the wooden floor.

Dripping.

"Crap." Tyler muttered to himself as he held his arm straight out and rushed to the bathroom, ripping a hand towel off the hanger and wrapping it around his forearm.

He gave it a few minutes before slowly lifting the fabric to peek at the cut, sighing with relief to see that it had mostly stopped bleeding. It wasn't too deep, but it burned like fire. He one-handedly opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a roll of gauze and medical tape. He eyed the necessary length of bandage before tearing it and wrapping it around his wrist. He was just about done securing it when he heard his notification tone, so he pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the screen.

Josh Dun: I suddenly regret stopping by my mother's. She can get more heated than my dad when it comes to talking about anything related to fighting. Save me.

Tyler smiled and texted back using one thumb.

**See? You should've stayed with me :P**

His phone went off again a few seconds later.

Josh Dun: I wanted to :( What are you up to?

Tyler looked down at the white bandaged that now had specks of pink seeping through.

**Oh, you know. Got into a brawl with the broken lamp. The broken lamp won, I think.**

Josh Dun: Are you okay??

**Yea. Just a small cut, no big deal. I can be a klutz, what can I say?**

**Gym at 1 tomorrow, right?**

Josh Dun: Yup. It's a date

Tyler wondered how insane he looked with his apartment torn apart, a blood soaked rag on the bathroom floor, and repeatedly smiling at his phone like a little school girl flirting with her crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the kudos and feedback! It's great to hear how much this story is being enjoyed! Sorry for this weird chapter though, but it kind of ties into something that's gonna happen next...


	5. Culture Forbids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one gets a little heated...
> 
> I don't think it's to the point that it needs a trigger warning, but just a heads up that there's some homophobia in this.

A steady flow of Death Cab for Cutie resonated from the stereo as Tyler laid on his bed, scratching at his bandage and texting Zack.

It was mostly small talk, but the conversations made Tyler feel guilty. He hadn't been around as much as he liked, and he felt so out of touch with his family. His parents even bought a new house, and he had been so out of the loop that he didn't know anything about it until his father called and asked for help moving. 

And then Zack asked Tyler what he was up to Saturday. There was a basketball game, close to the same time as Josh's fight, that he wanted him to come to. 

Now, Tyler wasn't a good liar. Everyone could always read straight through him, and he respected everyone in his life to not want to lie in the first place. But sometimes, he wouldn't give the full story, thus avoiding the detail that would require a lie to begin with. That was why when Zack had asked, he told him the truth; that he was going to the UFC fight, but not necessarily for Josh.

The guilt had been apparently too much to bare and he didn't want to hurt Zack's feelings, so a "do you want to come with me?" got tacked on at the end of that.

Tyler covered his face with his arm. Okay. Time to strategize this well thought out plan.

His phone started to go off, and he may have answered it a little too quickly, "Hey." 

"So what makes this one so special?"

Tyler rolled his eyes. Think. Thinnnk, "Nothing really, just... wanted to watch it. It's probably gonna be a good one, some of these guys really hate each other."

"Then why not just watch it on TV?"

Tyler shot up into a sitting position, "Look, do you want to come or not?"

Zack sighed, "Yea, I guess if that's what it takes for me to reunite with my long lost brother."

"I haven't been that bad..." Tyler mumbled.

"Yea. Sure. Oh, by the way, Maddy's pregnant."

Tyler just about choked on his own spit, "What?!" There was a chorus of laughter through the speaker, "Zack, I'm gonna kill you. Literally, I'm gonna come over there and strangle both of you."

"Well that would be a bit extreme." Jay was still laughing in the background.

"I hate you two."

"No you don't, shut up. I gotta go, but I'll see you Saturday I guess."

"Yup. See ya."

"Later."

Congratulations Tyler, you just invited your brother to a UFC event, starring your secret boyfriend.

Nothing bad could possibly come of this.

But luckily, instead of dwelling on his poor life choices and bad communication skills, it was time to get up and go meet said secret boyfriend.

:::::::::::

It was slightly less terrifying for Tyler to be amongst this particular population as he walked down the street to the familiar brick building a second time, but he thanked God when he passed through the steel door and into the safety of the gym.

Josh was across the room, appearing mildly aggravated with his hands on his hips as he paced in front of another fighter he was presumably practicing with. His coach, or rather, _father_ was giving him some choice words about his current performance and what he needed to do as Jordan sat in a chair off to the side in a cast, his crutches leaning against the wall.

Tyler made his way over but didn't interrupt, and Josh didn't seem to even notice him.

Jordan glanced over and offered a friendly smile, so Tyler stopped next to him, "Hey, what's up?"

"Not much... especially lately."

"Yea man, what the heck happened?" Tyler pretended he didn't know (which doesn't count as a lie).

"Motorcycle accident. Lost control on a back road and the bike landed on me just the right way. Wish there was a better war story than that, but nope."

Tyler chuckled before looking over to Josh, who had resumed wrestling as his father yelled out commands. Josh failed to keep the other guy pinned, and just as quickly as the other guy slipped out of his guard, Josh was pinned on his back and fighting off submission attempts.

Jordan shook his head, "He's gotta get his head out of his ass today."

"Why, what's going on?"

"Not sure, but he's having a real shitty day. Maybe you can get through to him."

Wait. What did he mean by that?

"I'm sure he'd rather hear a lecture from his brother, not me."

"Eh, I'm not so sure about that. I have a funny feeling you'd have better luck with him." Jordan spoke as if he was hinting at something.

Tyler internally freaked out. He had to know, but how? And why did Tyler think it was such a big deal? Did Josh, or even his dad, tell others about their relationship? Who else knew?

Should Tyler have told _his_ family?

"Alright, that's enough. Go hit something and we'll get back to this later." Josh's father growled as he stormed away in frustration.

Tyler shuffled awkwardly on his feet as the tension seemed to stay suspended in the room. He was almost surprised to see Josh smile when he finally looked over at his direction.

Jordan used a crutch to brace himself to his one functional foot before following after his father, "I'll leave you two alone."

Josh approached Tyler, studying his facial expression and tracing his line of sight back to his brother, "What did he say?"

"I think he knows about us."

"He does." Josh breathed without skipping a beat.

Tyler's eyes widened.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing... I-I... just..."

Josh huffed, "Was it supposed to be a secret?"

Wow. He really was in a mood today.

Tyler squinted at him, "No, of course not... he's just so cool about it... I wasn't expecting that."

"Well, why would he care?"

Tyler scrunched up his face but didn't offer anything else.

Josh dropped his head and seemed to visually relax a bit, "Look... Ty, I'm sorry... I'm being a jerk."

Tyler bit his lip and nodded in agreement, "Not really gonna argue that one."

"Fair enough." Josh walked over to his gym bag and put on a pair of gloves, throwing hand pads over to Tyler that rested next to it.

Tyler moved in front of him, holding up his arms as he took aim and began his assault on the thick material. Tyler's arms kicked back with each blow, but he kept his feet firmly planted in one spot. He didn't even want to speak and break Josh from his concentration, although minutes passed by.

Eventually, with sweat beading down off his forehead, Josh offered a break as he rested his knuckles on his sides and took a deep breath.

Tyler looked down at his tingling, padded hands, "Nervous?"

Josh raised his eyebrows, "That obvious?"

"I get like that before fights, too."

He seemed genuinely taken back by the information, "You get nervous? But you win... like, every time."

"Yea. I thought it was a phase at first, but..." Tyler was close to chewing a hole in his lip by now, "I never actually told anyone that before."

"Wait, were you nervous before our fight, too?"

"Yea, I was. And for good reason. You're a great fighter, Josh. You kicked my ass."

He laughed, "Wow, you swore. It really must be true."

"Dude! I had the biggest, darkest bruise on my thigh for weeks." Tyler spoke through a laugh, "I never had anyone kick me that hard before."  

That squinty-eyed smile, "My foot hurt so bad from that."

"Did you break it?"

"No! But it freaking felt like it."

Tyler took the pads off and dropped them to the ground, "I know it's hypocritical coming from me, but just try to stay calm. Don't let your nerves own you. You're so good, Josh. I know you can do this."

"You're so much better at that than my dad. Wanna be my coach?"

Tyler giggled, "I don't think that would smooth over very well."

"Why not? I think it would be great. I'd have the hottest coach around."  
  
At that one, Tyler blushed and checked around to see if anyone was listening to the conspicuous flirting.

Three guys over at the weights section seemed to be talking amongst themselves and glancing over at them fairly often. Tyler tried to tell himself that he was just being paranoid.

But then Josh was closing in for a kiss, and before Tyler's brain had enough time to catch up to his own actions, he was flinching away and putting an arm up to block him. He was careful not to look at his face. He didn't want to see the amount of hurt that just caused him.

"No, not here." Tyler whispered.

He looked back at the group of guys who were now laughing, and it was more obvious now than ever who they were laughing at. 

Tyler had to fight away the stinging in his eyes and the boiling blood in his veins.

Josh looked over at them, and then back to Tyler, "They aren't shit, Ty. Don't let them get to you."

He shook his head slowly and closed his eyes, "I'm sorry." He turned around, but pivoted back for a split second, "I gotta go."

"Tyler! Wait!" Josh grabbed at his shirt, only to have him spin around angrily.

"Let me go." Tyler's voice was low and hoarse, a dramatic change from what it usually was.

"Will you just talk to me?!"

"You want me to talk? Fine. I'm a coward, Josh. I care what people think, and I can't just turn a blind eye like you can. I..." His voice cracked as he began to walk away again, Josh not stopping him this time, "I'm sorry."

He watched as Tyler shoved his hands into his pockets and beelined for the exit. All he could do was stare at the door until his father came into sight.

"Josh, you alright?"

"Yea, I'm fine." He answered quickly as he pulled off his gloves, "Can we just get back to what we were doing?"

He had to get his mind off of this fast.

As much as he wanted to chase after Tyler, he had to finish up with his father first. He also needed a distraction from the burning desire he had to punch one of those guys square in the face. 

::::::::::

Josh kept quiet, taking out his frustration and sadness by making a full comeback for his poor performance earlier. The inspirational words Tyler had said seemed to have worked some magic.

But now, with everyone packing up and clearing out of the gym, he wanted nothing more than to see him. To hug him and kiss him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Whatever he was dealing with, it was normal and understandable.

Maybe Josh needed to be a little more conservative with his PDA, especially in a public place like this.

Tyler never had to deal with this kind of shaming before. People like those guys were terrible and cruel, but Josh had been through it time and time again. All the names and words that cut like daggers, he had dealt with before. Not so much in recent years, but in high school. Kids were merciless, but he thanked them for the thick skin he was able to build from the experience.   

But tonight, that thick skin was wearing thin.

As soon as Josh set foot out into the alley, he could see the three guys standing at the corner by the street. They all looked up as he got closer, but he kept his eyes trained elsewhere to try and avoid them.

The plan was to just walk right past them, straight to his car, and to feel like the bigger man in this situation.

Let them talk. They were nobodies who had nothing better to do than to put others down in an attempt to make themselves feel better about their own pathetic existence.

"Who would've known Joseph swung that way." One of the guys oh-so purposefully said loud enough for Josh to hear.

The others snickered.

"Fucking faggot."

Josh clenched his fists. To hell with the plan.

In one swift motion, he was shoving the guy into the brick wall, "The fuck is your problem?!"

The other two were quick to jump to his defense, grabbing at Josh's arms and shirt to try and pull him away.

"What? Did I offend you..." The guy leaned in closer, "faggot?"

Josh ripped an arm free and sent his knuckles straight into the guy's face, catching his eye and cheekbone. 

One of the other men backed away, not wanting to get involved. The other one was grabbing onto Josh again, so he elbowed him in the jaw and threw him to the ground before returning to his original target, gripping him by the collar and punching him yet again.

The guy managed to send a hook into Josh's temple right before they tangled up and dropped to the asphalt below. Josh landed on top and sent punch after punch flying. His knuckles grew numb, and it got hard to decipher who's blood was who's.

"Stop! Stop!" One of them was yelling.

He tried to pry Josh off, and after a few more hits, Josh let him. The two guys hurried to the other one's aid as Josh stood in a daze.

What did he do?

He swayed uneasily before turning and making a run for it without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, I promise the next chapter won't be so bad lol


	6. The Run and Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! It's great to see so many people enjoying this story! And to think, I was close to not even writing that one shot...

Tyler sat at the piano, an elbow resting on some of the lower keys as he propped up his head and lazily played a slow melody.

He remembered a time where he used to play for hours a day, even writing a few original songs here and there. He used to love music, and he wondered what had happened to that. He wondered if he chose the right path in life. Maybe he should have followed music instead of fighting. 

No, because then he would have never met Josh.

He felt like an idiot for being so mentally frail and potentially breaking his heart like that. Josh didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve Tyler's constant mood swings and mental baggage. He was too kind and caring, and Tyler envied how free-spirited he could be with no care in the world at who was watching.

He began to wonder what Josh even saw in him. They had been an actual thing for what? A little over a week? And he was, ever so habitually, already finding a way to sabotage it all.

This always had to happen. It was as if Tyler had a happiness meter inside him and once it hit a certain point- an alarm would sound, the meter would break, and the happiness would drain out. And knowing him- a neighbor would call and complain about the alarm, he'd cut himself (again) on broken meter debris, and he'd have to replace his happiness-damaged wood floors. 

Was the entire thing even as big of a deal as what Tyler had made it out to seem like? What sort of influence did those guys even have on their lives, anyway? They were just a bunch of cocky, arrogant kids that thought it was cool to hang out at the gym. They didn't know anything about him or Josh.

All that mattered to Josh was kissing the boy he really liked, and how does Tyler repay him? He runs out on him. Someone who gets paid to inflict pain on others, to remain stronger and tougher than his opponents, got his feelings hurt and ran out like a little baby.

Tyler covered his face with his hands and sighed. He was an idiot on so many levels, and he hoped Josh wasn't mad at him.

And now he had a headache from thinking too much.

Banging on his front door caused him to, literally, jump out of his episode of self-loathing. Banging, not knocking- as if someone was using the side of their hand.

Tyler checked the clock up on the wall. It was only five o'clock, but he wasn't expecting anyone. He stared at the door, willing for his body to do something.

The banging again, "Tyler? It's me."

He knew that voice, even through its hoarseness.

The bench he was sitting on nearly tipped over in his rush to get up, but he caught it and stood it back up.

In the short sprint to the door, Tyler deduced that he was here for one of three reasons; 1. He wanted to talk things over, but he sounded like he had been crying, so that brought him to 2. He was going to break up with him, or 3. Something bad had happened.

He unlocked the door and swung it open to reveal a very distressed Josh, standing with bloodshot eyes and blood covered hands.

After standing paralyzed at the sight for a moment, Tyler was able to reach out and grab Josh's arm.

He pulled him inside and quickly shut the door, "Holy shit! What the hell happened?!"

"I-I uh..." He swallowed.

"Did you kill someone?!"

He shook his head, but not too convincingly.

"Then what the hell happened?!"

Josh's face twisted with anguish as he hung his head, causing the tears he had been suppressing to fall silently to his feet. Tyler wasted no time, pulling Josh into a hug as he felt him start to tremble.

He held him close until he seemed to calm down, which didn't take as long as Tyler had expected. Josh was so much better at taming his emotions and staying in control of his own actions, which scared Tyler even more. Whatever made Josh snap like this wasn't good.

In the short time he had known Josh, it was clear that he was not (ironically) a violent person. This was so uncharacteristic of him, and it made Tyler eager to hear the story, but first thing was first.

Tyler pulled his head away and delicately lifted one of Josh's hands up to inspect it. Although it was hard to tell, it looked as if the skin on two of his knuckles was broken and raw. Tyler looked up at his face, and the only way he could describe his expression was a look of complete shame. As if he was waiting for Tyler to flip his lid at him, or as if he really was guilty of committing a murder.

"Here, come with me."

Tyler led Josh into the kitchen and had him sit at the table. He disappeared for a few seconds before returning with a facecloth and Neosporin. He ran the cloth under warm water, wrung it out, and pulled a chair over to sit directly in front of Josh.

Just as gentle as before, Tyler lifted up one of his hands and began lightly rubbing and dabbing the blood off of his skin, revealing the tender wounds beneath. It didn't look as if either hand was broken, and although he knew the thought process was all wrong, he began to wonder how this was going to affect Josh's fight this weekend.

"It was one of the guys from earlier." Josh answered the unasked question as he stared blankly at the table to his side.

Tyler glanced up at him but didn't stop what he was doing, "What happened?"

"Was leaving. They wanted to start shit, so they got it." His voice was cold.

"You took on all three of them?"

"No, just one."

"What did he do?"

Josh didn't appear to want to answer as his eyes remained half-lidded and distant. Tyler let it go and just focused on cleaning up his hands, refraining from continuing the interrogation. 

Tyler had a pretty good idea without having Josh explain.

He got up and rinsed the stained facecloth, watching the water turn bloody as it filled up the bottom of the sink. He closed his eyes.

He should have never left. If he had been there, he could've prevented this from happening. He knew there had been a cocktail of events that led to it, but him leaving was just the garnish on the glass.

"I'm used to the names... if it was just me, I would've been able to walk away..." Tyler looked over and watched Josh intently from across the kitchen, "But as soon as your name left his mouth..." He shook his head, "I swear to God, I saw red."

Tyler walked over and sat back down in the chair, still holding onto the damp fabric, "This whole thing is my fault."

Emotion suddenly resurfaced on Josh's face, "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Blaming yourself for everything. You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, this is all because of me." He rubbed the back of one of his hands, "I really don't want to screw this up, but after this, I understand... if..."

"No. You didn't screw anything up." Tyler was quick to intercept the topic, "Let's just make a promise."

Josh tilted his head like a confused dog.

"I promise to stop being such a freaking wuss. If your family knows about me, I'm telling mine about you. You're not my secret boyfriend, Josh. I'm done acting like you are." 

Josh no longer resembled what he had looked like just minutes before. Now, his glistening eyes wern't caused by sadness at all as he gazed over at Tyler with a full-sized, genuine smile.

"Wait, so what's my promise?" He asked.

Tyler grabbed him by the wrist, holding up one of his injured hands, "Don't do this again unless you're getting paid for it."

Josh chuckled, "Deal."

"Good."

"I kicked his butt, though."

"I'm sure you did."

::::::::::

The room was dark, minus the light from the television as it played the tail end of a romantic comedy film, which Tyler swore was their best option out of everything else that was on. He could tell Josh was getting close to dozing off halfway through, and he put up a valient effort to stay awake until about fifteen minutes ago.

Now, Tyler had a mess of red fluff next to his face from Josh's head resting against his shoulder. His breathing was slow and his arm would occasionally twitch as if he was dreaming, but Tyler didn't dare move and risk waking him. Instead, he enjoyed the boy's uncomfortable position up against him that was actually making his arm go numb. But whatever, It was worth the pins and needles.

Tyler felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and immediately did his best to retrieve it without moving too much.

Zack: Hey, you still awake?

**Yea, why?**

Zack: Cool. 

Tyler flicked his hand up with annoyance.

**Why??**

Zack: I'll be there in 5

"Oh my God." Tyler mouthed to himself.

He glanced over at the sleeping Josh next to him, and then back at the screen. Why were surprise visits such a thing now? 

He was so glad he didn't procrastinate on putting the living room back together.

And thus, it was Josh's turn to get carried to a bedroom- only it was way more of a struggle than what Tyler had anticipated.

He rotated around and adjusted his arm to keep Josh's head from rolling too much. He moved slow and attempted not to wake him as he tried to get an arm under his knees. Tyler silently heaved him up as he stood, only earning a short, incoherent mumble as he walked down the hall and through the open bedroom door. He then, a little less than graceful, plopped Josh down onto the mattress; his head missing the pillow and his legs crossing over to the other side of the bed. 

Tyler lifted Josh's head to get a pillow under before pulling the edge of the comforter over him. He quietly closed the door, just in time to hear knocking. That was  _not_ five minutes.

Tyler tried his best to play it cool when he answered the door, leaning up against the doorframe, "S'up?"

Zack shot him a questioning look, "Nothing... much? You?"

"Oh you know, just hanging out."

Zack nodded dramatically, "Oh, I see. So... can I come in?"

"Why?" Tyler winced at how bad that sounded. So smooth.

"Um... because, ya know, it would be weird if I just stayed out in the hallway like this. Seriously, are you hiding a body in there or something?" Zack tried to peek over Tyler's shoulder.

"What? No!"

Actually, yes. In a sense, he _was_ hiding a body.

"Then move over." Zack pushed past the older brother and entered into the apartment, seeming a little too relieved at the lack of a crime scene.

"So what brought you over here?" Tyler asked as he shut the door.

"Got off work late and knew you'd be home." 

"Oh."

Zack gave him another look. One that Tyler had seen so many times before. The ‘I know you're up to something, and I _will_ find out’ look. 

He began to scope out the area, pausing as he looked into the living room, "You rearranged everything since the last time I was here... what happened to the lamp Mom got you?"

"Hey, do you want a drink or something?"

That look again, only this time more annoyed, but the subject was successfully averted as they both headed to the kitchen.

Tyler examined the contents of the fridge, "I still have a few cans of soda left from the last time you and Jay hung out. Want one?"

"Sure." 

Something at the corner of Zack's eye caught his attention. Two small, red smudges on the light-colored kitchen table. He was close to dismissing it as nothing, just before looking down into the sink.

"Tyler, what's that?" Zack asked, his tone dropping.

"What's what?"

Tyler's heart nearly stopped beating when he saw the bloody facecloth still in the sink. He had forgotten all about that.

And now Zack's eyes were burning holes into Tyler's soul as he stared at him, his eyes traveling down to the gauze wrapped around his wrist which hadn't been noticed up until now.

"Tyler... did you... are you cutting again?" 

"No! No, I swear to God I’m not!"

But before Tyler could say anything else, Zack began to ramble, "That's why you didn't want me to come in! That's why you've been so distant lately! There's more going on than you say, and I was an idiot to think you were fine. But you're always honest with me! We thought you were doing so good!"

"Zack! Stop! Calm down, I didn't intentionally cut myself! Holy crap!" Tyler peeled the tape off and removed the bandage to expose the dried scab, "See? It's not new."

Luckily, Zack appeared to believe him as he sighed with relief, "Then what the heck happened? Why is there a bloody rag in your sink?!"

This is where Tyler's inability to lie comes into play. He had already stalled too long to make something up. The only calm and believable answer he could muster would be the truth, and hey, he _did_ say he was going to tell his family about Josh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting pretty good at ending these chapters in such a complete crap way. 
> 
> I'M SORRY
> 
> I'll post the next one as soon as I'm done!


	7. Pieces of Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Oops! I messed up folks. Completely forgot I switched Josh's hair color to red back in chapter two. I went back and edited the parts I knew I had accidentally said yellow instead of red, but if you see any other mistakes- let me know! 
> 
> I listened to Dean Lewis' "Need You Now" a lot while working on this chapter. The vibe from it is spot on, just don't read too far into the lyrics :P

Tyler's heart couldn't take the stress of Zack's unbreakable stare as he impatiently crossed his arms, perturbed and waiting for an explanation.

A less awkward, more opportune moment to share this news was just wishful thinking after all. Tyler now racked his brain to come up with the most simplistic, lighthearted version of the story in the short time he had before Zack would inevitably demand him to speak.

But dear God, why now? You know what they say about first impressions, and this was  _not_ a good first impression. Not even the modified tale was going to change that.

_Aw, how did you two meet?_

_It's actually a pretty cute story..._

Tyler glanced at the facecloth before interlocking his fingers behind his head, "It... it was from a friend."

"A friend?"

"Well, actually... more than a friend," Tyler quickly mumbled, "It's kind of hard to explain..."

Zack gestured for him to continue.

Tyler sighed and closed his eyes, "Josh Dun."

"Josh Dun?" Zack echoed dully with no recognition of his name.

This was getting painful, "Yellow Mohawk."

"Wait, the guy you fought?!"

Tyler nodded, his eyes still closed as he realized how much worse it sounded coming from someone else.

"Well, what was he doing here? And why was he bleeding? And hold on, did you say 'more than a friend'?"

Well, might as well get this over with. Just like ripping off a Band-Aid, hair and all, to spare yourself from prolonged suffering.

Tyler dragged a hand down his face and spewed out the words faster than he could stop himself, "He came here because he was upset, he was bleeding because he got into a fight, and yes, I said 'more than a friend'."

Tyler was pretty sure he could hear the crickets chirping outside.

"Woah." Was all Zack could say to break through the silence that had enveloped the room.

"Yea, woah."

Zack took a seat at the kitchen table, retracting his arm once he realized it rested on dried blood.

"Are you mad?" Tyler asked softly as he hung his thumbs from the pockets of his athletic shorts.

As far back as Tyler could remember, his younger brother had been his best friend. The one he could relate to the most, talk with all night, and reveal all his deepest fears to. The one he could go to when he was hurting, and the one that would be there for him during his darkest moments- keeping him grounded to the rest of the world. The one he thought of when marching up to the cage.

Tyler didn't want to let him down. He wanted nothing more than to make Zack proud and to keep his "big bro" image untarnished, but as he stood before him right now, he was terrified. Terrified of rejection. Terrified that a bond he had once thought was indestructible was about to break up and fall apart.

But instead of recieving a scowl or snarky remark, Zack looked stupefied. As if the question was ridiculous to even ask.

"What? No. Not mad. Just... confused? I guess?"

Tyler took a breath, not even realizing he had been holding it, "I can explain everything."

"You can start by telling me why he got into a fight with someone."

"Okay, everything except that."

"Well, that's what's bothering me the most, Tyler! He sounds crazy! I swear to God, he better not lay a finger on you or I... I'll definitely probably not win, but I sure as hell will-"

"Zack, chill out. He's not crazy, you haven't even met him yet. You don't even know what happened."

"Then tell me."

"Well long story short, he was defending me."

Not a complete lie.

"Okay, okay." Zack held up a hand before rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I'll trust you on this. I just... I worry about you and just want to make sure you're alright."

"I'm completely fine, I promise. Josh is incredible, you're gonna like him."

"Does Mom and Dad know?"

That bomb of a question made Tyler's face flush, "No, they don't. Please don't tell them. Not yet."

"I won't, but you better pray I don't slip up and toss you out of the closet on accident."

"What do you think they're gonna do?"

Zack sat back, "Come on, Ty, you know how they are. It'll definitely be a shock I'm sure, but they aren't gonna disown you or anything. They're a lot more open-minded than you like to give them credit for."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm always right." Zack beamed as he stood up, "Just wish you didn't feel like you had to hide this from me... that  _was_  the only thing you were hiding, right?"

Tyler nodded, but soon bit his lip with guilt, "Well, there's actually one more thing..."

"And that is..."

"Josh is sort of asleep in the other room right now."

He cracked a bashful smile at Zack's deadpan expression, "I should probably go now. I can't take any more of your surprises."

Tyler laughed, "Just be happy your loud mouth didn't wake him up."

"Yea, that would've been interesting. I guess I'll just have to wait until-"

"Saturday."

Zack paused, "You mean at the fight? Is that why you want to go so bad?"

Tyler nodded, "You're still coming, right?"

Zack sighed as he headed for the door, Tyler following close behind, "Yea, I guess I have to now. I'll text you tomorrow so we can figure out plans."

"Okay, cool."

They said goodbye to each other, Zack reassuring Tyler that everything was fine between them before closing the door as he left. 

Tyler tilted his head up, his eyes practically rolling to the back of his head. Well, that was one less thing on his chest but it didn't matter a heck of a lot when the pile was always overflowing.

A faint noise came from down the hall and when Tyler proceeded to investigate, he saw Josh leaning groggily against the doorway to the bedroom, "Who was that?'

"One of my brothers."

"Oh. Guess it's a good thing I didn't come check."

"I told him."

"Oh." Josh stepped aside as Tyler made his way past and into the room, "How'd that go?"

Tyler climbed into bed and smothered his face into a pillow, muffling his response and making it indecipherable. He could feel the warmth on the sheets and smell the slight body odor from where Josh had been laying, and it was pretty hard to deny how nice it was.

"I'm taking that as 'not so well'."

Tyler turned his head to the side, his face half smushed, and looked over at him, "No, it went alright. Surprisingly."

Josh sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for one of Tyler's hands. He graciously accepted the gesture, careful to avoid Josh's injured knuckles as he laced his fingers with his.

"Guess it was my turn to fall asleep, huh?"

"S'fine. You're a cute sleeper."

Josh chuckled and shook his head, "No way, that's you."

Tyler didn't bother arguing but gave out a loud huff of disagreement.

"You look tired."

"I am." Tyler allowed his eyes to flutter shut.

Decent sleep wasn't always a guarantee for him. The best chance he had was after an excruciatingly long day, but most nights were usually onerous. It was hard to coax his mind to give it a break, and once unconscious, the dark parts of it would transform into vivid nightmares.

That was why, although tired, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep just yet.

"I should go then."

It was also why Tyler tightened his grip on Josh's hand when he went to stand, bringing him back down.

"No." Tyler said softly, pleading with his eyes, "Stay." 

Josh smiled wearily, "You want me to?"

Tyler nodded his head the best he could with the way he was laying.

"But I reek." Josh over exaggerated.

"Then take a shower, duh."

"But I don't have any clothes."

"Yes you do, middle drawer." Tyler pointed to the dresser.

Although slightly confused, Josh followed his directions and discovered his grey ‘turnt down for what’ kitten shirt, laughing as the sight sparked memory of the day Tyler had borrowed it. Of all the ones he owned, he _had_ to choose that one.

Josh ditched the shirt but grabbed the shorts and boxers before hovering above Tyler, inches from his face with a smirk until he got the quick kiss he was waiting for, "Guess I'll be right back then."

Tyler rolled onto his side and soon enough heard the distant flow of water begin as he drifted off into thought. They had only spent one night together before, and it hadn't even been on purpose. Tyler was pretty sure Josh didn't even sleep in the bed with him.

 _Slow things down,_ Tyler had said.

What did that even mean? What were the guidelines? Did everything have a special point on some meticulous timeline, or was it all based off of what felt right? It was getting harder and harder for Tyler to comprehend something as complex as what he was feeling, but he knew he didn't want Josh to leave right now.

Aside from Zack, he had never felt so mentally connected to anyone before. He hadn't realized he was missing something so badly until he met the red-haired, tattooed goofball he had recently grown so attached to.

But there had always been something there, even from the start. What else would've propelled the two to kiss in the first place? 

Josh eventually came back in, his hair sticking up in every direction as he rubbed it with a towel, and Tyler was pretty certain he'd never grow sick of seeing him shirtless.

His long torso. The perfect definition of every muscle. The contrast of saturated colors on his arm against the rest of his tan skin. The way his v lines disappeared past the shorts that sat low on his hips. 

Yea, if he could go ahead and never wear a shirt again, that would be great.

The only complaint Tyler had stemmed from the fact that his skin was coated in thousands of little water droplets.

Tyler snorted with amusement, "Sure. Dry off your hair, but not the rest of your body."

"Why?” Josh opened his arms, “Want a hug?"

"Don't you dare." But he was already closing in, so Tyler rolled off the mattress and rushed away, "Josh! Knock it off!"

"What? It's only water!"

"You're _soaked_! Like seriously, who does that?!"

"It's just an extra layer of moisture." Josh jokingly threw the damp towel at Tyler, who swatted it to the ground.

"It makes no sense."

Josh pretended to feel hurt, "So, is this a deal breaker for us?" 

Tyler walked up to him, tilting his head at a teasing distance from his face, "We can work on it."

"Oh, yea?" Josh playfully threatened just before reaching under Tyler's thighs to lift him up.

"Josh! Put me down!" He ordered while laughing and gripping onto his shoulders.

"If you say so."

"Josh!"

Tyler was momentarily airborne until he landed on the bed, Josh flopping down right next to him with a wide grin.

"You're mean." Tyler repositioned his head into the nook of Josh's elbow, catching the soft scent of body wash.

"You love it, though." 

They met each others gaze. Their smiles slowly disappeared as they silently took each other in, and as if consent had been given telepathically, they suddenly moved towards each other.

They kissed, not stopping even when Tyler moved to get on top of Josh, who's lips began to part as the other boys hands skimmed across his bare skin. As their tongues gently brushed each other, Tyler worked his fingers through still-saturated hair. When one of Josh's hands slid underneath Tyler's shirt and up his back, it was all that was needed to send him rushing to take it off.

As Tyler sat up to pull the fabric over his head, Josh took advantage of the time to explore; his hands running across Tyler's ribs and down his abs, ending where his hip bones protrude just above his shorts.

"Damn, you're hot."

Tyler would've blushed if he weren't already sinking desperately back into Josh's lips. His touch had a magical way of sending Tyler right over the edge, voluntarily and without second thought. It was all so new, so incredible, and oh-so wanted. There was nothing better than this in the entire world, and Tyler was convinced of it.

Up until Josh rolled Tyler back onto the bed, kissing his way down his stomach and tugging at his waistband, "Want you so bad."

Tyler was brought down from his high, grabbing for Josh's hand- which sent him looking up to see what was wrong.

Tyler struggled to speak, "Not...yet... sorry, I-"

Josh quickly silenced him as he moved to lay back up next to him, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Ty. I don't want to do anything you don't want to."

"I want to, just... not yet."

Tyler immediately kicked himself for it. His thoughts were jumbled, and what he wanted was far from clear now. There were apparent lines drawn in the sand that he hadn't known about until now, and he was eternally grateful for Josh's understanding. Just the way he was even looking at him said _he knew_.

He knew this was uncharted territory to Tyler. Not only was it a new relationship, but the whole experience was unlike anything he did before. It was just going to take a little more time, and Josh could live with that. He had all the time to give.

He kissed Tyler's forehead, removing a lot of the fear and doubt floating around inside, "Snuggling can be just as good."

Tyler looked at him skeptically.

"Alright, maybe not. But it's still at the top of the list."

Tyler laughed, "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For being you."

Josh smiled as he watched him get up to shut the lights off, both climbing underneath the covers once he returned.

Tyler pressed his back up against Josh, his head resting on top of one arm while the other was wrapped around his waist. The body heat radiating between them and the feeling of Josh's breath against his hair was pure serenity.

And in a matter of minutes, going against everything he knew and had grown so accustomed to, Tyler's eyes were heavy and he was on the brink of falling asleep.  

"Night, Ty."

He wasn't sure if Josh had heard his soft "goodnight", but the light kiss on his shoulder told him that he did. He fell asleep with a smile on his face, and for the first time in too long, he had a good dream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I was going to have Josh walk out before Zack left but I ended up not going with the idea... 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this one!


	8. Wish We Could Turn Back Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY. YOU.
> 
> You should definitely go check out my new story, "I Want to Believe". It's gonna be good :)
> 
> Anyways, trigger warning for a ton of hugs in this one.

Josh collapsed onto the stool at the side of the cage, out of breath and unfocused as the cutman went to work at repairing his torn up face. His father knelt down in front of him and threw order after order at him, but the language seemed foreign. He couldn't understand it at all as his voice split off into two different pitches.

The stool was suddenly yanked out from under him, but instead of falling, he found himself standing alone at the center of the cage. The lights seemed brighter than before, everything taking on a whitewashed appearance as he squinted his eyes to try and see what was in front of him.

Two unblinking, glowing red eyes stared back, the figure in which they belonged to vaguely resembling a human.

Josh tried to shield himself from the bleaching light with his arm to get a better look, and just as he did, the figure came barreling forward- its eyes leaving red trails in the air and its legs not even moving.

Josh raised his fists and swung as soon as it got close, but his hand didn't connect with anything solid. It only flew through black cloud-like substance while the momentum of the unobstructed swing sent him spinning and correcting his footing. He barely had a chance to look back up before a force of unimaginable strength sent him flailing through the air and slamming onto the ground yards away.

It took quite a bit of effort for him to be able to lift his head and rise back up onto his feet, but the dark figure stood patiently.

Waiting.

Josh searched frantically for the countdown clock, which materialized out of nowhere up above. The numbers were going haywire, alternating between zeroes and nines- over and over and over again. He tried to move, but he suddenly couldn't. He had no choice but to watch helplessly through his distorted vision as the demonic creature mutated and grew larger.

Coming closer.

He tried to scream, but the sound was stuck in his throat.

There was a raspy voice saying his name, and it sounded so familiar and comforting despite everything that was happening. It felt like his ears were under water, but as his name kept repeating, it became clearer. 

And then something was shaking his shoulder.

Josh's eyelids flew open, and after he was able to process his surroundings enough to remember where he was, he settled down from his panic. The alarm on his phone was going off, and in a mixture of relief and lazilness, he swung an arm in the general direction of the nightstand to silence it.

He rubbed his eyes and turned to Tyler, who was barely awake himself.

"Morning." Tyler smiled, "You okay?"

Josh forced his vocal chords to work, "Yea, I'm alright... just had a really weird dream."

"About what?"

The way Tyler looked, his hair ruffled up and skin soaking in the morning light made the dream seem so insignificant. But still, he went on to explain.

"There was something with glowing red eyes attacking me... it was stupid, really."

Tyler moved closer to Josh and laid an arm across his stomach, "Well, you're safe now."

Josh ran his fingers through Tyler's hair and kissed his forehead, "This was a good idea."

"Mhm. Just sucks I slept through it all." 

Josh laughed, "Maybe we can do it again sometime."

"We should. So... weigh-ins?"

"Weigh-ins." Josh nodded with a sigh, "I could stay here all day, though. I don't feel like being stuck in a car with my dad for four hours straight. Are you coming tomorrow?"

"Yea, and so is my brother. Bonding time, you know?"

"That would be cool. Maybe I can meet him... before my face gets caved in."

Josh found himself humorous, but Tyler shot him a look of disapproval, "You're not gonna get your face 'caved in'. Way to be optimistic."

"I'm just kidding." Josh grunted halfheartedly as he flipped open the covers and stood up to stretch. After double checking the time on his phone, he rushed back over to Tyler, "Oh crap, I gotta get going. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Tyler got up, hugging him tight before sharing a short kiss, "I'll be there. Good luck."

After Josh left, Tyler realized he didn't have anything to do after training. With the fight just a day away, Tyler's assistance was no longer needed- and the feeling was lonely. He hoped this meant they'd be spending more time together in the long run, but just like clockwork, the next fight would come.

He did his best to control his worry for what tomorrow would bring, but at the same time, he was pretty excited to watch Josh go to work from a different perspective. His thoughts kept flipping back and forth between Josh getting injured to Josh looking sexy as hell in those white trunks while beating the snot out of someone who wasn't him for a change. It was hard to say if Tyler was looking forward to it or not, but his phone going off prevented him from deciding.

"Hey, Mom." Tyler answered.

"Hi honey! How are you doing?"

"Pretty good, how are you and Dad?"

"Oh, we're fine. I wanted to call because we decided to have a last minute dinner tonight and we would love it if you could come."

At least he had plans now, "Sure! That would be nice. Is anyone else gonna be there?"

"Yup! Your sister and brothers, too. Nothing fancy. Just lasgna and dessert."

"Mom, you're gonna make me get disqualified for gaining too much weight." He laughed.

"Nonsense, you need to eat something besides protein shakes and kale all the time."

"I don't even _like_ kale."

"How does six o'clock sound?"

"It sounds good. I'll be there."

"Okay, honey. I love you."

"Love you too."

::::::::::

Tyler dropped his gym bag on the floor in his bedroom, pretty convinced that Michael had some sort of unspeakable grudge against him- making him pay for it immensely with weights and footwork practice. 

He looked in his closet and selected a white, short-sleeved button up. He had no real need to dress up nice for his family, but the occasion gave him an excuse to wear something besides muscle shirts and sweatpants.

After picking out a pair of black skinny jeans and boxers to match, he headed into the shower to get cleaned up. He shaved, brushed his teeth, got dressed, and did his hair with just enough time to leave and be there for six. It made him happy to think that they were going to be moving closer soon and he would no longer have to drive an hour to go see them. 

He just wanted to be close to his family again.

::::::::::

He pulled up to his childhood home, smiling at the basketball hoop that stood next to the garage, which he and Zack had spent countless hours at.

It seemed as though the years hadn't done a thing to change this place. Their bedrooms, the decorations, the furniture- nothing had changed. It had all been left the way it was when he was just a young kid. Maybe his parents hoped that they would all just move back in and relive a time when things were simple. 

He could feel the tears as they welled up inside, but he shook his head and cleared his throat. There would be a better place and time to feel the sorrow of seeing this house go, but it wasn't today. This dinner wasn't supposed to be sad, and Tyler wasn't going to let his emotions stand in the way of enjoying the night.

He walked up the front steps, knocking before leaning inside.

"Tyler, you better not be knocking on that door." His father scolded from the other room.

He laughed at his father's dry humor, "Well, what am I supposed to do? Just barge right in?" 

"Once upon a time, you used to live here, too." He entered into the room and opened his arms for a hug, which Tyler sunk into, "It's good to see you, son. Wow, you've really been putting on some more muscle, huh? Didn't think that was possible."

"Had to for next week."

"Max Holloway, I know. We'll be watching."

"Where's everyone else?" Tyler anxiously looked around.

"In here, sweetie!" His mother replied from the kitchen.

Tyler followed the smell of food and found her pulling a glass dish out of the oven, "Smells really good."

She smiled, leaving it to cool down on top of the stove before walking over to squeeze him tight, "So happy you could make it. You look great!"

"But he needs to stop, because he's making me look bad." Jay spoke up from behind, causing Tyler to turn around and notice him standing next to the table with his girlfriend, Alyssa, under his arm.

Tyler smiled wide, "How've you two been?"

"Good! Really good. Did they tell you already?"

Tyler looked over at his parents, "No, what?"

"Well..." His mother began, her lips tugging upwards, "We figured we'd have a celebratory dinner..."

"For what?"

"I proposed, and she said yes!" Jay exclaimed, Alyssa looking just as excited as he was.

"Woah! Congrats!" Tyler hugged them, "That's great! When's the big day?"

"Well, we have a lot of planning to do. Aiming for next summer, though." Alyssa said.

And for some strange reason, the first thing that came to Tyler's mind was bringing Josh as his guest to the wedding, but the majority of them still didn't know.

He took a deep breath. He needed to stop worrying about everything. Worrying did nothing.

Zack and Maddy were the last to come in and greet Tyler, and after that point, he was pretty sure he had lost the ability to hug.

They all took their seats as food was being placed down and passed around the table. His mother definitely went above and beyond _just_ lasagna and dessert, and by the end of it, he could barely move.

"That's all you're going to eat, Ty?" His mother asked, concerned.

"Mom! That was like three courses to me! I can't eat more than that."

She laughed, "I'm your mother. I'm supposed to overfeed you." 

"It was really good, though. Thank you." Tyler said before drinking his water, causing everyone else to thank her as well.

"Well, I'm glad everyone liked it."

"I'm surprised you didn't bring Josh." Zack blurted out, slapping a hand over his mouth once he realized what he had said.

Tyler spit out some of his water.

Really?!

The table fell awkwardly silent, his mom being the brave soul to speak up first, "Who's that, honey? A new friend of yours?"

Zack looked at Tyler apologetically, "I told you I was gonna do that."

Tyler stared down at his empty plate, "Not exactly."

"Hey! Guys! I just remembered, I got a... _thing_ I wanted to show you." Zack lept up from his seat, the others reading his body language and following him out of the room.

Which left just Tyler, his parents, and that empty dish of his that was suddenly so intriguing.

"Son... is there something you want to talk about?" His father carefully approached the subject.

Thanks, bro.

"I was gonna tell you, I was just... nervous... and waiting for the right time..." He raised his voice so Zack would hear him, "And _not_  at my brother's engagement dinner!"

"Tell us what?" His mother pushed for information.

"Josh is my boyfriend." He spoke through a sigh. The tears from earlier were coming back.

His father looked surprised, but his face transitioned to sympathy, "And you were scared to tell us..."

"Zack only found out because I had no other choice- I had to tell him... I didn't want to disappoint you... I'm sorry."

"You can't choose who you love, Tyler." His mother's stern words crashed over him like waves on a shoreline.

A tear escaped down his cheek as he squeezed his eyes shut, just to squeeze them even harder once he felt two sets of arms embracing him.

"We're far from disappointed in you. You've overcome so many things in such a short time, and you've accomplished so much. You're our son, and nothing will change how much we love you."

His father was a constant joker. He was infamous for turning even the most serious conversation into a complete comedy act. To hear him say something so heartfelt and deep, Tyler knew he meant it. 

The tears switched from sadness to happiness as even more bodies surrounded him. He looked to see everyone, including Alyssa, forming into one big group hug with him at the center.

Zack was right. He's always right.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got an exciting chapter coming up next!


	9. Make a Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update. This is kind of short because I decided to split it up so I could just post SOMETHING. 
> 
> This is far from my best, but I'm working on the fight scene and will post it as soon as it's done :)

The car ride was entertaining, to say the least.

It mainly consisted of singing (loudly) every word to a number of embarrassing songs, an overwhelming amount of "remember when..." stories, and a taco or two. Or five. 

It was hard to remember the last time Tyler had this much carefree fun with his brother. It was almost enough to take his mind off of their destination.

Oh, who was he kidding? He was stressed, and no taco was going to change that.

As the estimated time of arrival on the GPS went down, his nervousness went up. Josh wasn't going to be fighting for a few more hours, but Tyler still felt like an inmate on deathrow.

And yes, he realized how overdramatic he was being.

It was an equal tug between worrying about him losing and worrying about him getting severely injured. If Tyler was the one fighting, at least he'd feel slightly in control of the situation but instead, he was off on the sidelines. Nothing to do but spectate helplessly, and pray to God that Josh wasn't in a funk anymore.

"You're not gonna like... jump in and run to his aid if he's losing, right?" Zack asked with a mouthful of food.

"Dude, this isn't WWE." Tyler threw a wrapper into the bag by his feet, "But if things go south, I'm not making promises."

Zack started to laugh but abruptly stopped, "Wait. You're just joking, right?"

Tyler stared emotionlessly.

"Guess not. I'll keep that in mind."

He couldn't keep a straight face any longer and smiled, "No, I'm not gonna do that. I'm just... trying to stay positive."

"Okay, good. Because I was about to say."

"Say what?"

"Nothing. Just that you must be one of _those_ boyfriends."

Tyler scoffed, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know... overbearing. The kind that would get pissed at him for having a passcode set on his phone. Or get into a fight with him when he's five minutes late getting home..."

"Uh, Zack?"

"Or the one that would shank a waitress for taking his order in a flirtatious manner..."

"Zack!"

"What?"

"You missed the exit!"

"Crap."

 ::::::::::

The arena was already packed with a rambunctious crowd as they made their way inside, being stopped frequently by fans who wanted either an autograph or a photo with Tyler. They eventually, with the help of security, made their way through the pathway and down to the cage. 

"Woah, those are our seats?" 

Tyler chuckled, "Yea, why?"

"They're so close! And oh my God, the ring girls are gonna be sitting _right there_! But, I mean... you wouldn't care about that."

"Oh haha, you're hilarious. Speaking of which, come with me."

"Why? Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Tyler pulled out his phone and called a number, "...Hey! We're here... Okay."

Tyler grabbed Zack's wrist and pulled him along as they headed towards one of the tunnels that was heavily guarded with personnel.

"But we can't go in there... can we?"

Tyler searched around until he saw Josh's father come around the corner, "Yea, we can."

Zack followed Tyler and soon noticed the man who was whispering to security, sending them stepping aside to let them through.

"It's good to see you again, Mr. Dun." Tyler said as they walked down the hallway.

"It's good to see you too, but please- just call me Bill.

"Sorry Mr.- I mean Bill."

Tyler decided to shut up the rest of the walk, which to his luck, was a short one.

Halfway down the corridor, they reached a sign with Josh's name taped next to a dressing room door. They entered, and Tyler smiled at the red-haired, gum chewing man sitting at the other end of the room.

"Hey!" Josh's face lit up as he made his way over, stopping short just in front of Tyler.

"Oh, just do it. It's not like no one here knows." Bill grumbled and turned to Zack, "Can you believe these two?"

Josh chuckled as he leaned in to give him a G-rated kiss. 

Tyler could taste the spearmint on his lips, and it took every fiber of his being not to slip his tongue in between them. He inconspicuously licked his own as he pulled away and looked the other boy over.

Josh had on a white Reebok sweatshirt that matched his trunks, which were decked out in sponsor logos. The one that caught Tyler's eye the most was for Alienware. He wasn't sure what they were, but the graphic was pretty cool.

He offered a half-smile and rubbed Josh's shoulder, "How are you feeling?"

"Good! I feel good. Just, well... you know."

"Yea, I know. Oh- so this is my brother!" Tyler wrapped an arm behind him and dragged him over.

Josh shook his hand, "Zack, right?"

"Yup, that's me. I'm assuming your Josh." 

He grinned, "How'd you know?"

"Just a crazy guess, but the last time I saw you, you had yellow hair."

The grin got wider, "Oh, yea. The red was Tyler's idea. It masks the blood."

"That's punk rock." 

::::::::::

Everyone in the arena had taken their seats and it was only a matter of minutes before the show would begin. Tyler felt more at ease after seeing Josh, but he knew that was subject to change as the night would go on.

"I still can't believe how close we are. This is sick." Zack said after taking a sip of his drink.

"Better than just watching it on tv, huh?"

"Oh, heck yes."

Tyler rested an elbow on the arm rest and began to twist his hair, "So, what'd you think of Josh?"

"He's nice and seems really cool, but... how'd you even beat him? His arms are, like, the size of your head."

"They are _not_... and it's not always about size." It took Zack glancing over at him for him to realize what he had just said, "Oh my God, grow up. You know what I was talking about."

Zack hummed.

The lights dimmed and the crowd cheered as Bruce Buffer stepped out into the cage, his signature voice resonating through the speakers and signaling the start of the action. 

Tyler sat back and watched as Zack got absorbed into the show; cheering loudly when his favorite fighters came out, grimacing whenever someone got punched hard, and even booing when an illegal move was made.

And then a fighter landed such a heavy hook into the side of his opponent's head that he was knocked out for several minutes. They even announced the (obvious) winner with the guy still laying on the ground a few feet away, surrounded by a medical team trying to wake him up.

Tyler swallowed hard and sunk into his chair. He really wasn't sure how he would handle seeing something like that happen to his boyfriend. Maybe he'd keep his cool, maybe he would scream in horror, or maybe he'd join him in the realm of unconsciousness. 

 _Please don't end up like that guy, Josh_.

He was completely unaware of how zoned out he was, staring off into the distance, until Zack nudged him.

"What?"

"Josh is next, right?"

Did the time really go by that fast?

"Uh, yea. Yea he is."

The sound of skin smacking skin brought Zack's attention back to the cage. One of the fighters was stumbling to get back up as the other one chased after him and threw him like a rag doll back down to the mat.

"Geez!" Zack hissed.

The fight ended up going all three rounds, and once the winner was declared, the crowd went crazy- including Zack.

One of the camera men panned around the room and stopped on Tyler, trying to get a shot of the champion who was attending. Just as Tyler went to give a thumbs up, Zack crashed into his side- an arm wrapped around his shoulder as he waved the other one like a lunatic.

Tyler hung his head and began to laugh. There was no playing it cool with him around.

 


	10. A Hopeful Undertone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was brought to you by Watsky's "Midnight Heart" on repeat...
> 
> Josh's walkout song is "Believer" by Imagine Dragons, as you will see from the lyrics (I wrote out the scene so that you could listen to the song as you read. Just hope you read at the same pace as me or else it might not work) lol
> 
> And sorry Cody! I like you as a fighter in RL, so I don't know why I portrayed you as such an asshole in this?
> 
> Well, I guess you can sort of be one at times, but still.
> 
> Hopefully he doesn't read Twenty One Pilots fanfiction...

There were a few minutes of inactivity as the cage emptied out and everyone got into position for the co-main event. There was still blood speckled across the white mat in the cage from the previous fights, and Tyler couldn't help but stare at the stains.

That was the thing about having others ahead of you; they didn't always bother to clean up any messes in between fights. Then again, you wouldn't exactly care about little details like that when preparing to add even more marks onto the canvas. It took Tyler sitting on the opposite side of the net, looking in, to realize how messed up that kind of was- but hey, the whole concept of the sport was messed up. 

You see pain, you chear. You see blood, you don't blink twice. 

Tyler breathed slowly. Now was not the time to overthink. This wasn't the colosseum with a bunch of slaves fighting to the death against their will. This was a "civilized" sport. No one died. Everything's fine.

Chill, Tyler.

The crowd picked up in chatter until the room fell dark and spotlights began to circle the room. Zack nudged Tyler's arm playfully, just as he recognized the beat that started to play. The same one from all those weeks ago.

He straightened in his seat.

_First things first, I'm a say all the words inside my head. I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been..._

The screens that hung above the cage showed footage of Josh, his team, and security as they began their walk from the dressing room down the stretch of hallway.

_Second things second, don't ya tell me what you think that I could be. I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea..._

He stared past the camera with his brows slightly furrowed, and that act alone made him look meaner than Tyler had ever seen before. He knew it was all a façade, but damn did he look intimidating.

They traveled around a corner and the spotlights fell to the entrance of the tunnel. Everyone who lined the stands and pathway near it leaned over the rails to get a better view as they entered the room.

As soon as they came into view, the cheering picked up in intensity.

_Pain, you made me a- you made me a believer. Believer._

_Pain, you break me down, you build me up. Believer, believer._

Although he was technically the challenger, it was easy to tell he was a crowd favorite- and Tyler couldn't help but feel extremely proud of that. It took him a lot to get to where he was now.

He had given Tyler a run for his money and before that, had never been beaten. He was in every way, shape, and form an outstanding fighter- and that's when Tyler realized something.

_Third things third, send a prayer to the ones up above. All the hate that you've heard has turned your spirit to a dove..._

He hadn't been giving Josh enough credit.

He had been so worried lately about this moment- so worried that something bad might happen that he overlooked the fact that Josh wasn't like most other fighters.

He was so strong, so resilient, and so adept. He didn't deserve Tyler's supercilious view of him. As cliché and corny as it was, Josh could do this. He could win this with or without his help, and even if he were to get banged up or ultimately lose, Tyler was going to be there for him. That's just what MMA fighter boyfriends did.

And Tyler hoped the same would be true when it was his turn.

He watched as Josh reached the officials and stripped down to just his shorts to get his face coated in Vaseline, trade out his gum for a mouthguard, and to get patted down by the referee.

They cleared him, and he quickly hopped up the steps and through the gate. He jogged around the border before coming to a stop at his corner, throwing a few jabs as his father and the rest of his team hung from the padded bar on the outside of the net.

_Last things last, by the grace of the fire and the flames. You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins..._

The music stopped, and a new song began. A beat that was universally recognizable. "We Will Rock You".

Tyler shook his head. Such a shame. He used to like Queen, but he had a sinking suspicion that he wouldn't after this. He had fought Cody Garbrandt before- had heard his walkout song plenty of times in the past- but this was different. Cody was coming out with intentions to hurt someone he cared about. 

Thus, Tyler didn't bother to watch this guy's walkout performance.

He only paid attention to Josh, who was doing his usual pacing and hopping around. He didn't look too nervous, but that didn't really mean much.

Tyler never did ask him why he thought Cody was such a jerk, but judging by his current expression, there had to be some sort of grudge. It made Tyler think back to the afternoon at the gym a few days ago. Sure, everyone had an off day once in a while, but maybe there was something more going on.

And then he wondered if Josh's knuckles were still sore from the altercation with that...  _dipcrap_ _._

Dipcrap. Josh was responsible for that wonderful addition to his vocabulary.

Cody entered the cage in blue trunks with a patronizing grin that exposed the orange plastic of his mouthguard. His fans cheered loudly, and the sound seemed to pump him up even more as he threw a couple jabs.

He gave off a menacing vibe without doing much at all, and the amount of tattoos he had were most likely to blame. You wouldn't necessarily have to try hard to look tough with the front of your neck covered in ink. 

And then he eyed Josh as he swung a few uppercuts and showed off his lightning-fast footwork.

He was flaunting his moves, that cocky...

"Kick his ass, Josh!" Zack shouted just as the audience quieted down.

Tyler smacked his arm.

Bruce Buffer continued on with their introductions and stats. Josh was about the same height as Cody, but he had a longer reach. Cody was heavier- and just going based off of looks, Tyler had a feeling it was because he had more muscle.

 _It's not always about size,_  Tyler repeated in his head. It was about speed. It was about accuracy. It was about avoiding Cody's combos and not giving him an open opportunity to knock you the heck out.

From past experience, Tyler knew all about that. Cody had gotten more than one good punch in on him, but he somehow managed to stay awake. He was a master at striking and brawling, where as Tyler liked to bring his opponents down to the ground. One small slip up from him allowed Tyler to get a submission, just as he did with Josh. 

But just like Cody, Josh liked to stay on his feet a lot. That meant he was going to have to knock out a pro at Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. 

Sounds simple enough, right?

"... follow my instructions and keep it clean. If you want to touch gloves, touch now." The referee ordered.

Predictably, neither one of them budged.

As soon as the ref began to back away, they returned to their respective corners- war faces on.

This was it. It was time to watch Josh put all those hours worth of training (between a gym and a particular boyfriend's living room) to good use. It was time to defeat Garbrandt and not let that floor lamp die in vain. 

Without further ado, the ref signaled for them to start. As soon as his arm swung down, the two glided forward with their fists held high. Cody hustled back and forth, waiting for Josh to make a move- who kept a sharp eye on the other's body language for any sign of impending attack.

A nearly imperceptible twitch was registered just a millisecond too late, and although Josh was already moving to block it, Cody had lunged forward and skimmed a glove across his jawline. Josh flung an arm up to shield himself as even more punches ensued, even blindly throwing some of his own while continuing to avoid any direct shots. 

Cody backed away, and he did the same. With no critical hits, it was nothing more than a waste of energy, and both of them knew it. They had to save it for bigger, more precise attacks. It didn't matter how strong you were if you didn't have the stamina left to use any of it.

Josh closed back in, but jumped out of the way as Cody spun around with a low kick. He felt the breeze blow across his legs as he launched himself forward again, but faltered as another punch headed his way and clipped the side of his eye.

Out in the crowd, Tyler's brain was working hard. Almost as hard as if he was the one inside the cage. Out of habit, he was trying to predict and calculate each fighters' moves- trying to find a pattern so he could tap in to what they were planning next. 

The way Cody kept twitching his shoulders to get Josh's attention and spook him. He was trying to fake him out, but luckily Josh was quick to pick up on it too.

Josh swung his torso back, a foot barely passing over his face. He used the failed kick attempt to throw a jab and a hook; one missing Cody's face as the other hit the side of his head. 

And that was how most of the first two rounds went.

A red-haired, angry-eyed fighter with his fists clenched across from an equally fierce, bearded fighter who hovered on the balls of his feet.

Numerous punches and kicks landed. Blood trickling from tears in aggravated skin. Swollen knots under muscle and on top of bone. 

Ten minutes total, and the air horn sounded for a second time.

Josh sat down on a stool as the cutman began to press an ice-cold enswell and medicated cotton swabs onto the untreated injuries. A bottle of water was handed to him, and after swishing some around in his mouth, he spit it out into a bucket. 

He was able to hear his father's tips and instructions clearly this time, unlike in his nightmare. He nodded his head as he listened. As he tried to catch his breath.

 _"_ _I think we both know who's winning, son_...  _you_ _gotta be more aggressive_... _he's owning the cage_..."

Josh scanned around, searching for Tyler up until his father's voice brought his attention back, "Did you hear me, Josh?"

"Yea, I heard you." He snapped a little harsher than he meant.

His father began to list off things he needed to change and correct, and just like that, time was up. His team collected their things and left the cage as he robotically moved back into position, awaiting the signal from the ref. 

And some how in the middle of it all, he found himself thinking about Tyler.

His smile.

His touch.

His laugh.

But the flashbacks came to a halt.

The round began and Josh closed in, sending a fist flying. Cody dodged it, but didn't expect the kick that followed into the side of his stomach. The smack was loud, but he didn't show any sign of weakness as he continued to shuffle on his feet and throw some moves of his own in retaliation.

A hook sent Josh's head whipping to the side as a knee collided with his rib cage. He stumbled back and tried to break out of range, but Cody followed like a blood-thirsty wolf. He did his best to cover his head as blow after blow ricocheted off his forearms- some even making their way through and pounding into his skull. He could see the ref from the corner of his eye, and knew he would call it if he didn't break away soon.

He dropped his arms and slammed into Cody, flinging them both around in a circle as he tried to pull him down to the mat. He landed on his knees at one point, but leapt back up as the other fighter yanked out of his grasp and took off towards the net.

Josh took the short opportunity to wipe the blood from his eye. 

Freaking faces. Always bleeding so much.

He looked up at the heavily-inked brunette, who's saturated hair clung to his forehead. He stood straight up and motioned with his hands at Josh. 

" _Come at me, bitch._ " He mouthed.

Josh bit down on his mouthguard in anger as he charged forward, realizing the mistake he had made just as Cody side-stepped and hooked the side of his cheek. He was able to throw an elbow, and had felt it catch on flesh, but the fighter brushed it off effortlessly and swung an uppercut. Perfectly aligned, and right underneath Josh's chin.

He didn't see it coming, and didn't know what had happened until his nerves flared up in pain. Darkness hugged his vision as he tried to squint away the little white spots that floated around. 

He blinked, and the next thing he knew, he was staring straight at Tyler. Time stood still, and everyone else in the audience looked like shadows. Nothing was visible except Tyler's concerned expression as he sat at the edge of his seat. 

With that, something took over Josh.

His vision cleared, the pain numbed, and he now turned to face his opponent once again.

Josh blocked the fist that was now headed for his face and slammed his own into Cody's temple- causing him to stumble. Before he could regain balance, Josh swung his heel through the air and connected with his jaw. Red-tinged spit flew from the fighter's mouth as he threw a desperate punch, which Josh ducked out of the way from. 

Cody wiped his mouth and glared over at Josh, who mimicked the hand gesture from earlier.

Apparently he didn't think that was funny.

Cody ran forward and wrapped an arm around his waist, sending them both crashing into the side of the cage. Josh backhanded him as he spun out of his arms, and waited for him to turn to land another shot into his face.

Cody faltered, his attacks no longer having a powerful drive behind them. He was dazed and getting sloppy with his movements. 

This was his chance.

"Knock him out, Josh." Tyler whispered to himself.

He started to block most of Josh's punches again, but a well placed kick broke him from his concentration. 

Josh didn't think twice before what happened next- and he didn't have to. It felt natural. Instinctual. As if this one particular move was the only one he had known and trained for. As if some outer force now propelled his body through the air.

With every ounce of strength he had left, he quickly swung a knee up into Cody's unsuspecting skull.

He watched as his eyes rolled back and he crumbled to the ground with no attempt to catch himself.

The ref guarded Cody's unconscious body and flagged for the fight to end.

The crowd began to roar uncontrollably.

At first, Josh didn't believe it. He simply stood in place, out of breath as he wiped his eye again and watched the people around him cheer. It took seeing his father and team running up to him in celebration for it to click.

He just defeated Cody Garbrandt.

He just defeated Cody Garbrandt by _knockout_.

Josh sprinted to the side of the cage and lept up, balancing on the padded bar with his legs on either side. He raised his gloves triumphantly and yelled on the top of his lungs.

Suddenly, Tyler was at his side- his face full of excitement as he patted Josh's leg and yelled up to him. 

"You did it!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if I did a good job or not writing a second fight! Hope it wasn't repetitive.


	11. Cut Me Farther

Sore.

It wasn't anything new, but each time was different in its own painful way.

A headache that felt like a vice had tightened around the circumference of his skull, pulsating with his heartbeat. A gouge, not too far and not much bigger than the one Tyler had given him, swollen and tender to the touch. A ribcage that felt, and looked, battered and bruised. A fractured knuckle and two broken metacarpals, which after a slight argument with a doctor, was secured in a splint instead of a cast. 

There were only two things that made all of this tolerable and worthwhile to Josh; Tyler, and the fact that he had won. 

Moving was often accompanied by a hiss, and sleep had not come easy the last night, but it sure felt nice to have someone to hold onto and snuggle with. 

Even if that someone in reference had dug a boney elbow into a particularly sore spot while tossing in his sleep.

But Josh couldn't complain. This was a nice change. It was a hundred times better than recovering alone. Someone who fully sympathized with him and knew exactly what this process was like. Someone who was patient and caring- unlike his father, who tended to be more desensitized to post-fight injuries. 

Josh could see it now; his father busting through the door the very moment his bones re-fused, telling him to get back to work.

Or maybe he wouldn't even wait that long. Maybe he'd be expecting him back at the gym within a matter of days.

Because who needs hands, right?

Okay, maybe his father wasn't _that_ bad. But still, his boyfriend was better.

Tyler came back into the room, wearing a Headrush shirt and boxers, with pain medication and a glass of water. Josh sat up against the headrest and used his good hand to take the pills and pop them into his mouth. He used the water to rinse it down before setting the glass on the nightstand with a groan.

"How are you feeling?" Tyler asked as he sat beside him.

"I'll live."

"Well, duh. I meant, like, along the lines of your hand and stuff."

"It's not the worse I've ever felt. Why? How do I look?"

Tyler bit his lip, eyeing one of the angry spots on his face and the bruise running down the side of his cheek, "You really don't want me to answer that."

Josh chuckled, "Yea, probably not."

Tyler leaned in for a quick kiss, "I'm just kidding, you look great. The red hair really accentuates your bloodshot eyes."

"Sounds hot."

"It is when it's you."

Josh hung his head back and rested it against the wall, letting out an airy laugh, "Just wait until it's your turn... Actually, I take that back. You usually flex them to death within the first round. It's not fair..."

"It's completely fair. And Michael called me earlier- they postponed my fight. It's not for another three weeks now."

"Woah, what are you gonna do with yourself?"

"Well what I _want_  to do and what I _will_ do are two totally separate things. I _want_  to eat my weight in tacos and watch reruns of old tv shows on Netflix. What I _will_ do doesn't involve either one of those."

"Lame."

Tyler slid down to rest on a pillow, his fingers folded behind his head. He gazed up at the ceiling in silence, and it took one look for Josh to know what that meant. He was thinking again.

"Do you ever miss life before this?" Tyler asked, his voice soft and eyes unmoving.

Josh shrugged, "Sometimes, I guess. But I love doing this. Gives me something to do with my life."

"Yea, me too... I just can't help but think back to when I could just go out and do whatever I wanted. To  _eat_ whatever I wanted and not have to worry about wrecking this... big thing I got going on..." A smile tugged at Tyler's mouth as he reminisced, "Zack and I used to do the craziest, dumbest stuff together..." The smile faded, "I know he says I won't, but I don't want to lose that relationship with him. I want to be able to go back to the way things used to be... well, maybe not entirely..."

Josh tilted his head, about to question what he meant by that, but decided against it. Instead, he reached over and took the boy's hand- who had to bend his arm up in order to make that happen. It was a wordless reminded that Tyler wasn't alone, and the only thing Josh could think of doing to give him a little relief from his overactive mind. 

Tyler was the deepest thinker Josh had ever met. He always had a unique perspective on everything and rarely took anything at face value. He could point out plot flaws in any movie, take away a special meaning from every song, and pick apart just about anything to see the bigger picture behind it. It was all very fascinating to Josh and he enjoyed just sitting and listening to what he had to say. 

But it seemed whenever the topic got too personal and headed into the past, Tyler would just stop. The nervous ticks would start up, and he would try to blow it off like nothing, but Josh knew better. Yet, he would try not to pry. 

It was going to take time, just like everything else in their relationship. 

"You alright?"

Tyler tilted his head to look at him, "I'm fine. Why?"

Josh shook his head, "Nothing. Just making sure... you'd tell me if you weren't, right?"

Now Tyler just looked confused, "Yea... again, why?"

"No real reason."

Tyler stared for a moment longer before sighing and pulling one of his knees up, "You're acting weird... should I ask if _you're_ alright?"

Josh grimaced slightly as he lowered himself to lay beside him, "Oh, I'm fine."

Tyler turned onto his side and studied his lips, "You sure?"

"I'd tell you if I wasn't." Josh whispered, taking in all of the features of his face before they slowly gravitated towards each other. 

The kissing started off sweet and gentle but built up into something more erratic and frenzied- fueled by passion, some pent-up emotion, and the forgotten fact that Josh was injured. In the midst of it, Tyler accidentally brushed a hand over a cut on his face and earned a slight wince.

It quickly turned into a set of smiles and laughter as Tyler double checked the injury, making sure it wasn't bleeding again, "Sorry."

"The struggle is real." Josh ran a hand through the brunette's hair, sending it up into a different direction, "But it's worth it."

Tyler grinned and closed back in, starting up right where they left off. Their tongues touched every once in a while as things got more heated, and Tyler's shirt rode up as Josh's hand glided up his backbone, ending in between his shoulder blades. 

"So worth it." Josh mumbled as he continued to trace his hands across Tyler's skin. 

Every once in a while, there was an imperfection amungst the rest of the smoothness. A ripple of skin. Scars that were barely visible, but still there. An obvious consequence of being in this line of business for so long. 

Some were thin and short, others were raised and jagged. The older ones had tanned with the rest of his skin while newer ones were pale and more prominent. Each had their own story to tell, and Josh began to speculate.

The one his thumb ran over on his arm- could have been from blocking. The one on his side- from a powerful kick that caught at just the right angle. The circular one on his knee- possibly from a fall as a child.

But then there were some that Josh couldn't quite figure out.

As his hand traveled up Tyler's outer thigh, beneath his boxers, he could feel them- almost undetectable to his fingertips. They lined his leg horizontally, varying in length, but mostly uniform. Caused by the same thing, over and over again. 

Josh's stomach turned sour as he left Tyler's lips to look down at his hand. He raised the fabric just enough to try and see what he had felt, but Tyler pushed his hand and jerked away before he could. 

Josh's brain didn't want to accept what that indicated, "Ty..."

Tyler faced away from him and sat at the edge of the bed.

Ignoring any soreness from the movement, Josh joined him, "Ty, what are those scars from?"

Still nothing.

Josh's nervousness picked up even more, "Can you just look at me?"

Doing the exact opposite, he turned away and hunched forward as he rubbed his head.

A moment passed, but he sat with full attention until Tyler finally shook his head, "I was going to tell you. I just... couldn't figure out when... or how..."

Although he couldn't see his face, he could hear the sadness in Tyler's voice as it wavered ever so slightly. A glance from him proved his suspicion- his eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

"Babe..." The pet name made Tyler squeeze his eyes shut, a single tear creating a track down his face that he wiped away with his shoulder, "Are... did..."

"I did it to myself." He confirmed.

Josh didn't know what to do. What do you even say to that?

At some point in his life, and he prayed to God it wasn't still happening, Tyler must have felt so upset- so helpless- in order to do something like that. He never would have guessed it, but sometimes the strongest ones hurt the most on the inside. They go without showing it until it's sometimes too late.

Josh tried to blink away the stinging in his eyes, "I didn't know."

"It's been years... like, before UFC..."

He nodded. Things were starting to make more sense now.

Tyler looked him in the eye, "I don't still do it, though."

Josh let out a visible sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you... it's not who I am anymore, but I have to carry it on me for the rest of my life."

"No, don't even apologize for anything... I just wish I could've been there for you  _then._ I... I don't even know what to say... why?"

Tyler stared at the ground, and Josh instantly felt bad for even asking. It was insensitive and just a product of the jumbled up mess that was inside his mind right now.

But still, Tyler spoke, "Things weren't always great for me. I had a real hard time in school, and just flat out mentally to begin with. I always knew I was different. With the way I think." he clarified, "Life would just sometimes get to be too much for me... but it's better now."

"What changed that?" Josh bit the inside of his lip.

"Fighting."

He smiled, but stopped himself from chuckling.

Tyler smirked, "That's like a contradiction, huh?"

"No, they're not the same thing... just stinks it had to be something so violent... instead of, you know, golf or something..."

Tyler snorted, "Golf?"

Josh laughed, "I don't know. Just something where you wouldn't still get hurt."

"I don't know... golf could get pretty intense..."

"Yea. Those crazy golfers, man."

The laughter settled back into silence.

Tyler fidgeted with his hands in his lap, "I went to a friend's wrestling competition one time. I didn't ever care for stuff like that until I saw it in person, and then I realized it was actually pretty cool. I signed up for it a year later, but after a while, everyone who went up against me started to forfeit. I got really frustrated, so my parents signed me up for a Martial Arts class instead. My sensei knew a guy who knew a guy, and well... here I am."

"Here you are." Josh wasn't just referring to his success, and Tyler quietly acknowledged that as he leaned up against him and rested his head on his shoulder.

"This doesn't hurt, right?"

"Nope, and I wouldn't care if it did."

Tyler tried to grab his hand, forgetting it was in a splint. It didn't affect Josh as he rested the metal plate down into his fingers, using his thumb to squeeze their hands together.

They remained like that for a few moments before Josh shifted uncomfortably.

"Wanna go watch a rerun of the fight?"

Josh perked up, "Oh heck yea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so everyone knows, I only have about 5 chapters left to this story. I just don't want to write filler chapters for the sake of extending the story, ya know? But if anyone has any suggestions, I'm willing to hear them :)


	12. Shadow of the Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chester. 
> 
> I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. My heart hurts so bad. I lost my dad to suicide seven years ago, and now you in the same tragic way. 
> 
> I feel that familiar pain all over again. It hurts so bad to see you go. To know you're not here anymore, and that I'll never be able to meet you and see your awesome smile in person.
> 
> You will live on through your music, which has helped so many people, including me.
> 
> Iridescent was my go-to ‘panic attack song’. It came out less than three months after my dad died. As soon as your soothing voice said "let it go", I would. I would listen, I would breathe, and I would relax. 
> 
> I owe you so much for helping me through the most difficult time in my life. I was raised on Linkin Park and remember watching the "In The End" music video when it first came out when I was seven years old. I was hooked. Even though I didn't know you personally, I feel like I lost a friend.
> 
> Thank you for the gift of your incredibly powerful voice, your thoughtful nature, and all of the things you've done that continue to inspire me.
> 
> The sky of a million stars just got a little dimmer without you.
> 
> Rest in sweet peace, CB <3

_One week later_

Tyler had tried his best not to think about it too much, but the time had come. His parents had rented a moving truck, refusing his offer to hire a moving crew for them (which may have possibly been an attempt to weasel his way out of lifting furniture all day). With that plan out the window, he coaxed Michael into letting him have the day off to help pack.

But his bed was comfortable and motivation was no where to be found at this time in the morning. He laid on his stomach with his face half pressed into his pillow, holding his phone out as he switched between social media and a text conversation with Zack. 

Zack: So, are you on your way?

Tyler grumbled into the pillow.

**If by 'on my way' you mean dressed and heading out the door right now, then no.**

Zack: Seriously?

**Judge me.**

Zack: Fine. For someone who works out all the time, you're the laziest person I know.

**I'm coming... eventually.**

Zack: That's okay. My reinforcement should be there soon.

**Excuse me?**

**Your what?**

Zack: You'll see ;)

With humorously perfect timing, someone began to knock. Tyler smiled in confusion as he got up and pulled on a pair of shorts.

"Who is it?" He asked as he walked up to the door.

"Zack's reinforcement."

He laughed as he opened it to reveal a snapback wearing Josh, holding a tray of coffee with a grin plastered on his still-healing face.

"I brought caffeine." 

"That was so synchronized, it was beautiful."

"I know." He chuckled as he stepped inside and gave Tyler a kiss. He set the drinks down on the kitchen table, "He brought it up yesterday, so I asked if you guys needed any help."

"Sounds like you two are best buds." Tyler feigned jealousy.    

Josh snorted, "Is that alright with you?"

"Oh, it's fine... it's fine... just texting my brother more than you text me."

"That _is not_ true."

The notification tone on Josh's phone went off, and Tyler cocked his head.

Josh smiled as he read the message, typing something back before looking up to meet his glare, "What?"

"Let me guess. It's him."

"Possibly."

"What'd he say?"

"He asked if 'Operation: Light a Fire Under Tyler's Ass' was underway." 

"And what exactly does that consist of?"

"Well, it starts with you getting something other than those shorts on."

Tyler crossed his arms, "And what if I don't _feel_ like it?"

"Well, that's what I'm here for."

"Wait, Josh- no!" He ducked down and scooped Tyler up over his shoulder, heading towards the bedroom, "Alright! Alright, you win!"

 ::::::::::

The sun was slowly rising, turning everything it touched gold. With the sky clear and the air fresh, the only evidence left of a late night thunderstorm was the saturated Earth and darkened pavement. 

Josh peeked over at Tyler, who sat slouched over in the passenger seat- his hood pulled low over his face as he took a sip of coffee. 

It took a second glance for Tyler to catch on, "What?"

"Nothing. You're just cute."

He grumbled for what felt like the hundredth time in an hour.

"So... how do you feel about this?"

"What, my parents moving?"

"Yea. I know you grew up in this house."

Tyler sighed.

He didn't like dramatic change. He could handle the little things, like a change in routine or plans, but the big stuff triggered an irrepressible amount of anxiety. 

He was too young to remember when they had first moved in, and he didn't move out until after his fighting career kicked off. That was at least twenty years worth of calling that place home. 

Packing up and seeing it disappear in his rearview mirror with the intent to someday return and visit his family was one thing. It was another when he knew he'd never see it again.

"Kinda sucks. I have so many memories there but I think it'll be good in the end. They'll live closer to me now, so there's that." Tyler surprised himself with his own optimism.

"True. I'm excited to meet them... do you think they'll like me?"

"Are you kidding?" He rolled his eyes, "My mom hasn't stopped asking about you."

Josh smiled, "So they're open to you dating some punk with a nose ring, dyed hair, gauges, and a history of hitting you?"

Tyler giggled, "It sounds so bad when you say it like that, but yes..." he smirked, "It's not like they didn't see the fight."

"So essentially their first impression of me was when I was slipping out of consciousness because of you?"

"Essentially."

"I'm off to a good start then."

::::::::::

They turned onto Tyler's old street, the sadness and nostalgia increasing in what could very well be his last time ever being in this neighborhood. The winding roads, the radio tower standing tall in the distance, the short trees planted between the sidewalks and curb. He was going to miss it.

"It's down here on the left." He pointed.

Josh snorted, "You mean the one with the U Haul truck backed into the driveway?"

"Oh yea... good point."

They parked on the street and walked across the lawn to the open front door, entering to see uncomfortably bare walls and rooms. Boxes and bins were stacked in a corner, furniture was out of place, and people could be heard talking somewhere else in the house.

"Hey, we're here!" Tyler called out as he studied the empty dining room and kitchen.

"We're upstairs, honey!" His mom answered.

"Excellent! The strongmen are here!" Jay's voice overlapped hers.

Josh followed behind Tyler as they headed up the stairs and down a hallway. They traced the sounds to the master bedroom and were immediately greeted by everyone as they walked in.

"It's so nice to meet you!" Tyler's mom gave Josh a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, "I feel bad that it's not for something a little less labor intensive, but thank you for coming!"

"Oh, don't feel bad at all. I'm happy to help." Josh said sweetly as Tyler pulled him over to introduce him to Jay.

They shook hands, "Hey, that was an awesome fight last week! Zack made me watch it." 

Zack nodded his head but didn't break his concentration from his phone's screen, "It was sick."

Josh grinned, "Kind of glad I won, then. This would've been embarrassing."

"Hey Mom, where's Dad and Maddy?" Tyler asked.

"They went out to get breakfast. We weren't going to have everyone over without getting something to eat." His mom smiled.

Tyler's stomach was grateful for the news as he looked over to the mattresses propped against the wall, "So what are we moving first?"

Jay walked over to the dresser Josh stood by, "If you and Zack get the bed, Josh and I can do this."

Zack looked up, "Wait, what?"

"Dude, have you even done anything since you got here?" Tyler harassed him.

"Sure I have."

"Yea, he's been the scene supervisor." Jay chimed in.

"Oh, shut up."

Tyler's mom sighed as she picked up a box, "Can we pretend to be a functioning family for five minutes, please?"

Tyler laughed and looked over at Josh, who was trying hard to keep a straight face.

Josh and Jay took the dresser out to the truck and after returning, watched as Zack and Tyler attempted to maneuver the king-sized box spring around a turn in the stairway.

Zack flailed a hand in frustration, "What are you even doing?"

"What are _you_ doing?! Just... just lift your side up... no, not like that!" Tyler rested his head against the mattress, "This is impossible. How did this thing even get up there in the first place?!"

Jay stood leisurely against a wall, "So... how's it going, guys?"  

"Fine and dandy." Tyler growled.

"Alright, go. We have to try and turn it." Zack instructed the older brother, who began to struggle with the jammed object.

"It's stuck, let me push it back up."

Tyler shoved against it as Zack pulled, successfully freeing up the mattress.

"Okay, good. Now just... just turn it that way... just... just pivot... pivot... _pivot_!"

"Shut up! Shut up! _Shut up_!" Tyler said angrily, trying to act like Chandler.

The bystanders at the bottom of the stairs busted out laughing.

It took a different strategy for them to finally get it, which resulted in the box spring sliding down, hitting the wall, and slamming to the ground.

"Boys, what was that?!" A worried Mrs. Joseph called out from the other room.

More laughter.

"Nothing!"

With the hard part finally over, Zack helped Tyler lift the mattress back onto its side and walk it to the front door. Maggie and Mr. Joseph met them there with handfuls of paperbags and drinks.

"Hey! Food's here." Maggie smiled as she held them up and headed for the kitchen.

Zack let go of his end and walked away, "Oh, thank God. I'm starving."

Tyler swung his arms up, "Really?!"

:::::::::: 

With full stomachs and a half-full moving truck, everyone continued to work together to cram as much as they could inside for the first trip. Once it was ready to go, they traveled in a convoy to the new house and unloaded everything- returning to the old house later in the afternoon to start the process all over again.

Tyler stood in a deserted bedroom, the one he and Zack had shared as kids. There were dents in the carpet where furniture once stood, a few small holes left from picture frames, and a memory for every inch of space around him.

With one final glance, he turned to leave, but something came down over his head before he could see what it was. He reached up and grabbed onto the brim of a hat, lifting it off of his eyes to see Josh.

"Was this your room?" He asked as he rubbed his hand through his flat hair to ruffle it back up.

Tyler gave a half smile, "Yea, it was."

"You alright?"

"Yea, I'm good. Just taking one last look around... Is there anything left in the guest room?"

"All that's left are some boxes, and then I think we're done."

"Good."

Josh was smiling.

"What?"

"I've never seen you wear a hat like that before."

Tyler put it back on him, pinching the brim and twisting it sideways before lightly kissing his lips, "That's because I'm not a hat guy."

"But I've seen you-"

"Beanies don't count."

Josh laughed and wrapped his arms around him, the two leaning into each other for a moment of peace from their busy day.

::::::::::

The air had cooled down as the sun hovered just above the tree line, returning to a comfortable temperature like it had been that morning. A welcomed breeze blew across the back of Tyler's neck as he stood on the tailgate of the truck, pushing one final box inside.

He jumped down next to his father, "Is that it?"

"Yup, that's it. Your mother and I are gonna run out and grab some dinner for everyone. We'll be right back."

"Okay, I'm just gonna go check around and make sure we didn't forget anything."

On his way to the house, Tyler stopped by the garage and checked inside. Once it was confirmed that it was empty, he closed the door and crossed over the driveway.

But he paused when he saw the basketball hoop. He chuckled to himself, finding it funny that no one had noticed it. It had become camouflaged after all of these years of seeing it, especially more recently- when it was no longer used.

It was nothing more than an old, rusted eye sore- one that his parents refused to get rid of. No more teenagers shooting baskets after school. No more night games between siblings, using nothing more than a porch light and the moon to see in the dark. No more practicing three point shots until he grew sick of chasing the ball into the street.

Tyler eyes moved away from the wornout backboard and down to an even more wornout basketball that sat in the bushes.

He unwrapped his sweatshirt from around his waist and tossed it aside into the grass. He picked up the ball, squeezing it to make sure it still had air, and began to dribble it around.

He walked a decent distance away and concentrated, eyeing the hoop and bending at his knees. He sent the ball rolling off his fingertips, rotating through the air and swishing through the net with ease.

"Still got it." He whispered.

"Eh, it wasn't _that_ impressive." Josh came up next to him with a smirk.

"Oh yea? Think you can do better?"

"I _know_ I can do better." He turned his hat backwards as he retrieved the ball.

He took position next to Tyler and dribbled a few times, squinting his eyes and biting his tongue as he bent his knees.

"Miss." 

He threw the ball, not as technically sound as the other boy, but it passed through the hoop without a problem.

Tyler stood dumbfounded, "Dang, you actually got some skills."

"Being totally honest right now, I wasn't expecting that to go in."

They bursted out laughing as Tyler picked up the rolling ball and began to dribble it before making another shot. That shot turned into another, which turned into a full-fledged game and went on even after his parents had returned with food. 

Mrs. Joseph leaned outside, "Boys, come in and eat!" 

"Hang on, after this one last- Josh! You traveled!"

"I so did not!"

As Tyler rebounded the ball and lined it up for a shot, Mrs. Joseph simply shook her head and headed back inside.

"That's uh... that's... what are we at now?" Tyler panted.

"Um, me winning." Josh slapped the ball out of his hand and did a lay-up.

"Cheater! And you are _so_ not winning."

"Of course I'm not." He laughed, "You're like the next Michael Jordan or something. I didn't even know you played."

"Yea, I was on a pretty good team back in high school. I was always either playing basketball or wrestling. Was actually offered a scholarship because of it, but I turned it down when I got recognized for fighting."

"Geez, that must've been a hard decision." Josh said as he picked up his discarded shirt and wiped his face dry. 

"Not really. I liked fighting more, and still do. I don't get the same out of basketball as I do MMA."

"What... concussions?" 

Tyler chuckled as he laid down in the grass and stared up at the sky, "No, _not_ concussions."

Josh laid down next to him and took a deep breath, admiring the orange and pink hues that had begun to envelop the horizon.

"This is nice." Tyler said softly.

Josh hummed in agreement and reached over to hold his hand.

Tyler laced his fingers with his and looked into his eyes. He got an instant flutter in his heart, another new feeling he wasn't quite used to. He wasn't even sure what it meant, but it made him warm. It made him happy. And it made him say the only thing that could sum up everything he felt in that moment.

"I think I love you."

Josh turned his head, looking a little surprised, but he smiled wide, "I think I love you too."

"No, I'm serious... I really think I do."

Josh rolled closer and slowly lowered his face above Tyler's, their breaths ghosting across each other's skin. Tyler rested his hand behind his neck, smiling before his lips were interrupted by a soft kiss.

"Get a room."

They both jumped to see Zack passing by, not even looking in their direction.

Josh rested his head down on Tyler's chest, "Thanks, Zack. Thanks."

"Are you two love birds coming in to eat? We still have one last load to drop off."

Tyler sighed and looked at Josh apologetically, "Yea, we're coming."

::::::::::

"Guess this is it." Tyler said, resting his palm on the steering wheel as he stared at the house.

Josh glanced up from scrolling through a playlist on his phone, "You alright?" 

"Yea, I will be once this is over. Can't wait to get home."

"Yea, me too. Well, I mean your home..."

Tyler chuckled, "Are you _inviting_ yourself over?"

Josh smirked, "Absolutely not. I'm simply prompting you to ask the question."

He sighed before perking up, "Hey Josh, it's gonna be late and everything by the time we get back- wanna stay over at my place?"

"Sure!" 

The two laughed, pulling out onto the road to follow behind the moving truck as a song began to play. Soft and mellow with a steady beat and sweeping synth. A bass line that led into the singer's smooth voice, resonating through the car as they drove through the neighborhood.

Tyler faught the urge to look up into the mirror. There was nothing to look back at this time. He wasn't leaving behind family, he was leaving behind a possession. Oddly enough, it didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would. 

Maybe this change wasn't going to be so bad after all. 

"So what are you up to tomorrow?" 

Tyler came back down from his thoughts, "Huh? Oh, just meeting up with Michael for some training at noon."

"So nothing later on?"

"No, why?"

Josh shrugged with a smile, "We haven't been on a real date yet."

"You're right. We haven't, huh?"

Josh nodded, a hopeful look on his face, "So what do you think?"

"Well, what would we do? Where would we go? We have to be pretty discreet about it..."

"Yea, I know. We'll figure it out." Josh turned in his seat to look over at the other boy, "So, Tyler Joseph... will you go out with me?"

He smiled, "Duh, of course I will."

Josh punched the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're like half of a month deep into this relationship and we've already got 'I love you's flying!
> 
> http://images.memes.com/meme/747548
> 
> Anyways, I was so excited to see this story hit 200 kudos and 2000+ hits! That's incredible! I love reading your comments and seeing how enjoyed this story is. Really helps me delve in deeper to this world and find inspiration :) Thank you all so much!


	13. Every Breath We Make

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update D:
> 
> Here's a longer chapter than normal with a special ending to try and make up for it!

"Josh."

He stirred as the quiet voice called his name.

The voice wasn't so quiet a second time.

" _Jishwa_."

He hummed, but it took a shoulder prod for him to open his eyes. He groggily rolled over and rubbed his face, his voice raspy as he attempted a 'what?' that didn't quite form.

Tyler was already dressed in a hoodie and athletic pants, looking as though he had been up for a while. He sat down at the edge of the bed and began to tie his shoes.

"What are you doing?" Josh asked through a yawn.

"Going for a run. You should come with me."

The suggestion caused Josh to flop back down and cover his face with a pillow, "What time is it?"

Tyler laughed, "Early." He pulled the pillow off of him and received a grumpy look in return, "Aw, but it'll be fun!"

"How are you so awake right now?"  

"I don't know, I slept good. So..." Tyler laid down on top of him, their faces inches away, "are you coming with me?"

Josh smirked, "Depends. What do I get out of this?"

Tyler pondered, "A healthy cardiovascular system and your pick of the movie tonight."

He sighed, "Fine."

Tyler gave him a kiss and got up. He dug through Josh's dresser and tossed clothes over for him.

"How long is this run of yours?" 

"Not long at all." Tyler said as he left the room.

Josh rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "Somehow, I really don't believe you."

:::::::::: 

With hoods up in an attempt to remain unrecognized by the crowd around them, which seemed more concentrated on where they were going than the two athletes running past them, Tyler and Josh jogged side by side. 

The sky was brightening, but the skyscrapers and surrounding buildings casted shadows that shrouded the streets with darkness from the rising sun. Those shadows shrunk and faded with each mile they ran; down streets, through back alleyways, along train tracks, over a bridge, and past an abandoned mill.

There was a distant train horn as the two ran around a construction site and under scaffolding.

Tyler glanced at Josh, who had a headphone in one ear, "We should race."

"Excuse me? Do I look like Usain Bolt to you?"

Tyler checked him up and down as they continued to run, "No. You look like an Oreo that's been dipped in milk."

Josh looked down at his black sweatshirt and white leggings and shorts, "Oh haha." He held his stomach, "Now I want Oreos."

Tyler laughed, "Sorry. Maybe later."

"I think I deserve some after this. I don't just skip my morning coffee to set my lungs on fire for anyone, you know." 

Tyler grinned, "Love you too, babe."

Josh smiled, "So, hypothetically, where would we be racing to?"

"How about the park? It's like twenty blocks from here."

"Okay. So when do we-"

Tyler suddenly took off, sprinting at full speed, and Josh quickly chased after him.

This was the boy Josh adored. The one he idolized and secretly had a crush on since he first saw him. It was a mystery, and nothing short of a dream come true, that their paths had crossed and turned into the one crazy highway it was today.

Josh mentally took back his words from earlier; this, right now, was  _way_ better than all of the coffee beans in Colombia. There was something about weaving through a bunch of unsuspecting, confused people, while running like a bat out of hell behind this boy, that made it incredibly fun.

There was a huge group waiting at a crosswalk up ahead, so Tyler took a sudden turn and began to run towards a chain link fence in between two buildings. Josh followed and watched as he scaled up it, as if he had done it a hundred times before, and dropped down to the other side. Josh copied him and followed him through the detour, gaining up on him once he recognized where they were.

Tyler spun around someone who stepped out in front of him, narrowly avoiding the distracted person, giving Josh the opportunity to take the lead. He held it for a few blocks until Tyler passed him around a corner.

By now, both of their hoods had flown off- but if people were recognizing the two UFC fighters running like maniacs through the city, neither one of them noticed.

Neither one of them cared.

Josh pushed himself to run faster, gaining what little momentum he could to get even with Tyler as they reached the final block. The gate to the park was dead ahead, after a crosswalk that was currently in use. They blew past everyone with just seconds left until the countdown ended and a stop hand illuminated.

They ran under the gate at the same time, and Josh instantly dropped to the grass on the side of the pathway, panting as he tried to catch his breath, "You run... so fast."

Tyler doubled over, "You do... too." After a minute of recovery, he sat down next to Josh and flipped his hood back up, "Wanna head back?"

"To the apartment?"

"Yea."

"Are we walking?"

"Yea."

Josh whined, "Carry me."

Tyler laughed.

:::::::::: 

On their way back to the apartment, Josh multitasked between watching where he was going and scrolling through his phone, "This is the hardest decision of my life."

Tyler slid one of his hands into the pocket of his sweatshirt while the other intertwined with Josh's, "I thought you were dead set on that alien movie."

"Yea, but now there's another one that looks really cool. How am I supposed to choose?"

"Well... we can just watch both."

"Woah. You're getting a little rambunctious there, Ty."

"What can I say? I know how to party hard."

"Josh?" A female's voice came from behind, causing them to quickly let go of each others hands and turn around.

The first thing Tyler noticed was the woman's unique appearance; the sides of her head was buzzed, but the rest of her light brown hair was long and draped down the front of her shoulder. It was hard to tell if the two lines through her eyebrow were scars or just a design, but it didn't take away from the fact that she looked like a total bad ass.

Her MMA apparel confirmed Tyler's suspicion- she must be another fighter.

Josh's eyes lit up as he recognized her and pulled her into a hug, "Oh geez, what's up?!"

"Nothing much. I haven't seen you in forever!" She backed away and took a double take at the hooded boy next to him, "Holy shit, you're Tyler Joseph."

He smiled, "That's me."

Josh hung an arm behind her neck, "This is my friend, Lyndsey. We used to go to the same gym together."

"Yea, until you became too good for us." She playfully shoved him away before turning to Tyler, "By the way, you can just call me Lynn. It's so cool to meet you!"

"Same." Tyler answered with a smile as they shook hands.

"So, you still go there?" Josh asked as the three of them began to walk again.

"Yup. Pete and Andy, too."

"Man, I haven't seen those guys in forever."

"Well, maybe you should come by tomorrow if you're not busy. We're having a few fights in the afternoon."

"Could Tyler come too?"

Lynn looked shocked at first, but excitedly nodded her head, "Of course! That would be awesome."

They walked a few blocks, and Tyler mostly just listened quietly as the other two talked and joked around until Josh stopped in his tracks in front of a Starbucks, "Oh, thank God. I'm gonna run inside and grab us some coffee. I'll be right back." 

Lynn stepped off to the side with Tyler to get out of the way of everyone else on the sidewalk, "Well, that's one thing that hasn't changed about him."

"His caffeine addiction?"

"Yup." She leaned against the side of the building, tucking her hair behind her ear, "So, how long have you two been friends?"

Tyler shrugged, a little embarrassed of the truth, "A few weeks."

"Oh."

He looked up at her.

"It's just that you two seem pretty close... I would've thought it was longer than that."

"Uh... yea. Actually-"

"Wait... you two aren't just friends, are you?"

Tyler raised his eyebrows.

Lynn covered her face, "I'm sorry, that was so rude. I was thinking-"

"Actually... you're right. We aren't just friends."

Her hands slid down to cover her mouth, "I knew it."

"Wait, how?"

"Well for starters, I could've sworn that I just saw you two holding hands... I thought I was just seeing things." She crossed her arms and shook her head, "Josh is dating a freaking UFC champion. Holy shit."

Tyler chuckled, "Just don't go telling everyone. We still don't really know how to handle... the whole thing yet."

"I get it. I totally get it. My lips are sealed."

Lynn was easy to talk to, and Tyler liked that about her. He wasn't so sure of her at first, but to be so accepting of their relationship already was a huge step in the right direction- but she was one of Josh's friends, so that shouldn't have come as much of a surprise. 

"So... where did you two meet?"

Tyler ducked his head, trying to control the blush, "In the cage."

Lynn refrained from laughing, "That's... romantic. Love at first knock out?"

"Something like that, except it was a submission... Rear naked choke."

"Cute."

Tyler laughed.

"Josh is a good guy. I'm glad he found someone like you."

Tyler nodded, "I'm glad he found me, too."

::::::::::

Josh peeked through the door, making sure no one was watching as they snuck inside the movie theater.

"The exhilaration!" Tyler whispered.

"What are you, fourteen?"

He giggled, glancing up at the signs as they started down the hallway, "You're one to talk. You have a package of oreos duct taped to your stomach."

An employee was in the process of sweeping up spilled popcorn, so they smiled innocently until they passed him.

"It's not obvious, is it?" Josh straightened his shirt, causing the plastic to crinkle underneath.

Tyler rolled his eyes, "Not at all. Besides, it's _way_ worse to have outside food than it is to get caught without a ticket."

"One- _sass_ , andtwo- we had to be discreet. Not like we could just walk through the front entrance, sucking face, and expect no one to recognize us... or you, at least."

"Well, if sucking face had been a part of the plan, I would've taken my chances."

They entered into a room, the lights already dimmed and the previews playing across the big screen. They skipped up the steps to the top row and picked seats isolated away from others.

Josh lifted his shirt, grimacing as he pealed the tape away from his skin.

Tyler bit his lip, trying hard not to laugh, "How's that working out for you?"

"The end result is worth the pain." He opened the container and offered some over.

Tyler took two, "Sounds like something my coach would say."

They held hands through the beginning of the movie, although Tyler spent most of that time watching the outline of Josh's face against the blue light projecting off the screen. Josh was so concentrated, his eyes didn't even budge as he guided another cookie up to his mouth.

Tyler waited for him to finish eating to lean over and give him an unexpected kiss.

Josh smiled, "What was that for?"

He shrugged, "I kind of like you."

"Well, I hope so."

Tyler turned sideways in his seat, bringing his face close to Josh's and resting his hand against his cheek, "I just don't think you know how much."

It was moments like this that sent Josh's heart twisting and turning in the most pleasurable way. Tyler always knew what to do and say to get him going, and Josh always had to fight the strong desire to test his limits and see how far he could take it before Tyler would stop him again.

However, a movie theater would not be an appropriate place to do that.

It hadn't been an easy challenge, but Josh remained patient. Making out during a two and a half hour film would have to suffice for now.

::::::::::

Tyler turned on the light and walked over to the foot of the bed, groaning as he flopped onto it.

"Same." Josh kicked off his shoes and checked his phone that had just vibrated, "My mom wants to know if we're still going out to dinner with her and my dad tomorrow night."

"Yea, definitely." Tyler's answer sounded way more confident than how he felt.

Josh saw right through him, "My dad doesn't bite, Ty."

"I'm sure he'd make the exception for me."

"You guys just got off on the wrong foot." He thought back to standing in the kitchen with only boxers on and Tyler sitting on the counter, "The _really_ wrong foot... but this would be nice. It'll give you a chance to get to know each other."

"Yea, I'm sure your father's going to enjoy plotting the downfall of my career as he eats his steak."

"He will not!" 

"It's just that his son's boyfriend is standing in the way of him winning a UFC championship. Nothing major."

Josh pulled off his shirt and left the room, "It's just dinner."

Tyler sat up, "Are you sure he doesn't hate me?"

"Positive."

"Then why does he act so... uptight when I'm around?"

"Because that's just how he is. He has nothing against you, and trust me- I would've heard it by now if he did." Josh returned with a bottle of water, "I think he's just nervous about all the same things we are."

Tyler nodded, "Can't blame him."

"But he'll get used to it. Everything's gonna be alright, Ty. Don't worry."

Telling Tyler not to worry was like telling a fish to climb a tree, but when Josh said it, those words seemed to be more powerful.

Probably because Tyler actually believed him. 

"Oh, hey- look what I found." Josh picked up his splint from the floor.

"You should probably start wearing that thing again."

"Nah. My hand doesn't even hurt anymore."

"That doesn't mean it's not broken."

Josh shrugged, "I survived your parents move without it."

"You are _so_ stubborn." Tyler got up and took Josh's hand to inspect it, lightly pushing down on one of the fading bruises.

"Ow!"

Tyler looked up with narrowed eyes.

"Well, it hurts when you poke at it like that!"

"You can't mess around with your hands, Josh. Put it on."

He pulled his hand away, flexing it before he slid it inside the brace and velcroed the straps tight, "There. Happy now?"

Tyler smirked and hung his arms around his shoulders, "Yup."

They started to kiss, which was definitely not something they hadn't done before, but there was something inside Tyler that felt like it had changed since the last time. 

In the midst of the session, he fell into thought.

From the very start of it all, Josh had been so understanding and patient. From a stranger fondling his hair to being repeatedly, yet unintentionally, teased in a way that would drive anyone else crazy- Josh had endured.

It wasn't like it was unusual for couples to wait months before doing anything with each other, but the sexual tension had been building up behind a barricade for what felt like a hell of a lot longer than that now.

Josh stopped, even though Tyler knew he didn't want to, and kissed his forehead before walking away.

It was his way of cutting himself off.

How many times has he done that without Tyler noticing?

"Where are you going?"

"Uh, to get some water." 

"But you already grabbed a bottle."

Josh looked over to where it sat on the dresser, "Oh... you can have that one."

Tyler gave up and let him leave. 

He was definitely out of his element. 

Was he supposed to act on this new feeling that was tugging hard inside his stomach, or was he supposed to resist it and give it more time? One thing was for sure; it would definitely be hard for him to fight off the strong urge tonight.

Josh parading around the apartment with no shirt on, muscles out for the world to see,  _really_ wasn't helping at all.

And yet, it went so much deeper than just physical attraction. There was something special that had caused them to bond and flourish like this together, and whatever it was, it had Tyler second guessing what he was waiting for.  

"What am I waiting for?" Tyler whispered to himself.

Josh reentered the room, "Did you say something?"

Tyler walked over and began to kiss him like his life depended on it. Josh didn't seem to mind as he dropped the water bottle and tried to keep up with Tyler's passion and eagerness until there was finally a break for air.

Josh's eyes flickered open, "Wow."

Tyler reached out and placed his hand over Josh's chest, feeling his heart pound beneath. 

Josh rested his hand on top of his, "I love you."

Tyler smiled, "I love you, too."

He let his hands wonder to where Josh's pants sat low on his hips before taking his own shirt off and heading for Josh's sweet spot- his neck.

He inhaled as Tyler sucked the skin below his jawline, "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

Tyler could practically _hear_  Josh's eyes widen, "Wait, really?"

Tyler nodded, kissing a trail back to his mouth.

"Are you sure?"

Tyler scoffed, "Yea, of course I'm sure."

Josh ran his hand down Tyler's arm, "I just... want it to be right. I don't want you to do something you'll regret."

"Josh." Tyler waited for him to meet his gaze, "I regret plenty of things in my life, but you're not one of them- and you never will be."

With that, Josh crashed back into him- desperate to have their lips meet again.  

There was still so much that Tyler didn't know, but he trusted Josh and he trusted his own instincts. He trusted the path his heart had chosen, and no matter where it would take him, he was ready for the ride.

He fumbled with Josh's belt, their lips never separating, before he successfully got it undone and unzipped his pants. Josh shoved them to the ground and threw them aside, quickly getting to work on Tyler's.

Once they were both down to just boxers, he picked Tyler up from behind the knees and walked him over to the bed, continuing to make out as they laid across the sheets. Tyler ran a hand down Josh's chest, brushing over his nipple and down his abs until he felt fabric.

He slipped a few fingers underneath, which caused Josh to inhale again. His eyes rolled shut as Tyler grabbed on and began to pump slowly.

Seeing Josh get like this was a fantastic sight.

It excited Tyler.

It made him want to do it even more and watch this man fall apart from his touch.

He wondered what else he could do, and since he was completely inexperienced when it came to doing this with another man- the only other thing that came to mind was something Tyler himself enjoyed from his past, straight relationships. 

He just hoped he could do it right.

Tyler began to kiss down Josh's torso and ended at his waist, right where his happy trail disappeared- until Tyler tugged at his boxers and pulled them off.

Josh went to say something- but his hands, including the one that was in a splint, were sent reaching for Tyler's hair as a mouth slid down around him. His stomach tingled as the sensation radiated through his body and ignited his senses.

"Holy fuck." Josh breathed.

Tyler gently grabbed the base of his shaft and teased with his lips. He worked his way back down, using his hand to reinforce the movement. And again.

Josh closed his eyes and fell into complete bliss as Tyler kept it up. There was no way in hell he hadn't done this before, but it wouldn't have mattered either way. The total foreignness of Tyler's touch and the warmth of his mouth alone would've been enough.

"Ty." Josh's fingers unraveled from the boy's now disheveled hair.

Tyler instantly stopped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he climbed up next to him, "What? Was that okay?"

Josh smiled bashfully, "Oh yea, it was more than 'okay'."

He leaned over Tyler, tasting himself as their lips parted and their tongues brushed together. Just as he went for his boxers, Tyler did too and pushed them down- kicking them off the bed and pulling Josh back over top of him.

Josh struggled to make the position work, ending up on one elbow with the brace next to Tyler's face.

"Are you good?"

Josh hummed with a smile as he lowered his head and kissed above Tyler's collar bone, "How 'bout you? Are you sure you're ready?"

To answer his question, Tyler reached down between his legs and guided Josh up to him. 

He put his hand over Tyler's, "Just relax, okay?"

Tyler nodded.

He bit his lip as Josh began to push in, but the slight pain vanished as he went deeper. Tyler's mouth hung open as he wrapped his arms around Josh's back, and the pleasure grew more intense until it peaked as their hips connected- causing Tyler to moan.

Josh watched him carefully as he continued at a slow, steady pace until it became apparent that Tyler was ready for more. He gradually picked up speed, sloppily and aggressively kissing Tyler as nails dug and scratched at his back.

Josh didn't mind the pain, but he winced as he tried to use his injured hand for support, "Friggen thing."

"Lay down." 

"What?"

Tyler pushed him over onto his back, moving his hips up and down as he took over the work for a while. 

Josh rested his hands on Tyler's sides, feeling his muscles flex with his every movement- eventually adding in some of his own as he felt his climax building up.

"Ty, I'm getting close."

"I know, me too." He squeezed his eyes shut, "Fuck, just keep going."

Josh did as he was told with no complaint until he lost control- falling paralyzed to the orgasm that passed through his body like a shockwave.

Tyler collapsing onto him with some select cuss words and erratic breathing, along with warmth that pooled across his stomach, told him that Tyler had hit his as well.

"Holy shit." Tyler mumbled weakly into Josh's shoulder.

"Yea... holy shit."

They stayed in that position for a moment before Tyler lifted up his head, "So... shower?"

"Definitely." Josh's face turned to worry, "I think I bit your lip."

Tyler swiped a finger across it, looking down to see light blood, "That's nothing. I've gotten worse from you."

"You love joking about that, huh?"

"Yup." Tyler smiled, pecking his lips before rolling off and falling to the bedsheets with a sigh, "Wanna get that shower started?"

Josh got up, and Tyler caught a glimpse of his back as he walked away, "Uh... hey, Josh."

"What?"

"Just, uh... I don't recommend taking your shirt off at the gym tomorrow."


	14. Because Of You, I Might Think Twice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Wanna hear a funny story?
> 
> Once upon a time,
> 
> I used to update my stories every week.
> 
> The end.

Josh finished taking his first sip of coffee as Tyler trudged out of the bedroom, "Morning, babe. Want some?"

“Please.” Tyler replied through a yawn as he rubbed his face.

He walked over to the center island and eased his way down onto the stool- causing Josh to glance up as he poured the hot liquid into a mug.

Tyler narrowed his eyes fiercely, "Shut up." 

"I didn't say anything."

" _You were thinking it_." 

::::::::::

Tyler sprung forward, his fist cutting through the air and impacting with a smack as he repeated the motion with the other hand in quick succession. He ducked out of the way as an arm swung over his head, and countered with a spinning kick as he rose back up.

Something that probably would’ve hurt, if not for the thick layer of padding Michael wore on his chest and hands.

With one final combination of punches, Michael backed away and gave Tyler a break, "So, are you gonna tell me how you got that mark on your lip?"

Tyler acted more out of breath than he actually was, trying to buy some time to think of something other than 'things got heated in bed last night'.

"Was just an accident... bit it."

Michael raised an eyebrow, "I'd say so."

"Can we just hurry up and finish this?"

"Why?"

Tyler rubbed the sweat off his brow with the back of his forearm, "Because I got somewhere else to be."

He didn’t mean to sound rude, but in all fairness, Michael should’ve known better than to chit chat during a never-ending training session from hell.

Tyler needed it to end soon. 

He glanced up at the clock.

Michael smirked, stepping forward with his hands raised to initiate the next set of combos, but Tyler paused when the smirk didn't go away, "What?"

"In all the years I've trained you, you never had 'somewhere else to be'."

Tyler threw two jabs and a hook, "Well, I do today."

"Is it a girl?"

Tyler messed up on his form, and Michael took the opportunity to smack him across the head.

"I guess that's a yes."

Tyler huffed as a surge of irritation coursed through his body, "Dude, why are you so up in my business right now?"

"Because it's affecting your focus, _dude_."

Michael quickly raised a pad up to catch the punch headed straight towards his face, "Oh, calm down! I was just teasing you."

Tyler rested his gloved knuckles against his waist, dropping his gaze before looking up again, "I'm going out with Josh Dun."

Short and to the point (the band-aid thing again).

And partially just to sideswipe Michael out of spite. 

"Oh," He stated rather simply, "When did you two become buddies?"

There was a pause.

"Michael... I mean I’m actually  _going out_ with Josh Dun."

Michael rushed forward, appearing embarrassed and shocked from the shear volume in which it was said as he checked to make sure no one else heard, "What the hell are you talking about?! You're _dating_ him?!"

Tyler nodded.

“Since when did you even swing that way?!”

“Why?” Tyler grew defensive, “Does that bother you?” 

“No, no...” Michael shook his head and made it a point to get rid of the dumb look on his face, “Sorry, that’s not what I meant to say. I just... I don’t... _Josh Dun_?”

Tyler nodded.

"How in the hell did this happen?"

"A series of very... spontaneous and erotic events." His lips twisted up shamelessly.

"Tyler!"

"What?! It just... sort of happened. Figured you’d find out one way or another, so... there you go."

"Well, thanks for the straight up honesty. Jesus Christ...” Michael shifted into position as Tyler resumed a similar stance, "Any idea how this is supposed to pan out?"

Tyler hooked and then elbowed with the same arm into the pads, "We're working on figuring that out."

"I just hope this doesn’t-”

Another hard punch, "Can we just drop it? I already know."

Michael was usually one to remain persistent to get his points across, but based on Tyler’s current mood and underlying circumstances, he decided to let this one go. 

And instead of continuing, Michael suddenly dropped his hands and tugged off the pads.

He glanced up at a confused Tyler and smirked, "Just be here tomorrow. The usual time."

Tyler lowered his fists, “Wait... that’s it?”

Michael nodded, “Yup, for now it is... just don’t get used to it.”

Tyler smiled as he shedded his gloves and rushed away, “Thanks!” 

::::::::::

At first, it was just a few droplets that sent them squinting up at the darkening clouds above as they stepped outside- but a few minutes later, those droplets had turned into a full-fleged downpour.

Streams flowed down storm drains as the windshield wipers batted back and forth against trails of beading water; the type of miserable afternoon that usually sent Tyler bundling up under some covers in bed while feeling inexplicably sad- but lately, the weather hadn’t influenced his emotions so much. 

Not with Josh.

It was cheesy, cliché, and yet- so true.

It felt like Josh could be the one to fill up every hole inside his soul, mending everything broken and incomplete. He made Tyler feel, for once, like he wasn’t in this alone. Like he had a rock to fall back on instead of tumbling off of a huge cliff. 

He was his sunlight in this absolute crap of a stormy day, breaking up the clouds in his mind and letting the happiness shine through.

But as they pulled into a parking lot and sat in the car, listening to the beat of the heavy rain as it pounded against the roof, Tyler regretted not bringing an umbrella.

Josh looked over with a smirk, "Ready to get soaked?"

"One word,” Tyler said as he reached for the door handle, " _Run_." 

They flung open the doors, feeling the instant drop in temperature as the cool rain hit their skin and absorbed into their clothing. Tyler reached out and grabbed onto Josh's hand, giggling as they splashed through puddles and tugged each other along.

It was stupid. Like something small children would do.

But so what.

Josh jokingly skipped up the steps to the side door and opened it with a gentleman’s bow. They continued to chuckle as they stepped inside the gym, but several sets of eyes quickly diverted away from the fight in the cage and landed on them.

They both fell silent- Tyler’s smile dying in an instant while Josh’s remained intact long enough for an awkward wave.

"Hey guys, over here!” Lynn flagged them over from where she sat on a set of bleachers.

Tyler quickly followed Josh over, who was instantly bombarded with people he apparently hadn’t seen in ages as they climbed up the steps to some empty spots next to her. Hands were soon flying out to Tyler as well- eager to meet the champion as Lynn took over introducing everyone.

A little too quick for Tyler’s overwhelmed brain, but there were a few names that stuck.

There was Pete, who had bleach-blonde hair and Nightmare Before Christmas tattoos. He was friendly and pretty comical, but in the few short moments that Tyler knew him, it had become pretty apparent that he lacked a filter. He sat next to Andy, who had a mix between red and brown hair with colorful tattoos spanning both his arms and legs. He was quiet, even in the way that he spoke, and he seemed to enjoy just listening and laughing at what others had to say.

Hayley, a girl with short, blue hair, sat on the other side of Lynn. Bubbly and constantly smiling, she was pretty much the polar opposite of Tyler- but it was nice. Just like Lynn, she wasn’t like most other female fighters he was accustomed to being around.

And with the way her and Lynn interacted with each other, Tyler wondered if there was something going on between them.

Conversations were kept to a minimum until the fight was over- a TKO in the second round after one of the fighters got pinned and proceeded to get the snot pounded out of his face.

As the cage emptied out and there was a break in between fights, Pete tousled Josh’s hair from behind, “So, you finally decided to come back to us. It’s about damn time.”

Josh playfully swatted his hand away, “Yea, yea.”

“What’s life like rolling with the big dogs now?” Andy asked.

“It’s awesome, I love it.”

“Must be nice being friends with this badass, huh?” Pete motioned to Tyler.

Tyler chuckled, trying to play it cool.

If only they knew how anxious and socially awkward said badass was.

Hayley leaned around Lynn, “How’d you two even meet? Wait- were you friends before that fight?”

The pressure was on as Tyler and Josh looked at each other.

“Well,” Josh hesitantly began, “We were-”

“It’s a weird story... actually.” Tyler interrupted, “My sister owns a hair salon, and like... Josh came in one day. I didn’t know who he was or anything, and he didn’t recognize me either.”

“Yea... because he was wearing a beanie.” Josh added slowly, “Like, super low on his head- just above his eyes. And he was standing in the back. I didn’t recognize him at all.”

Lynn fought back a smile as it dawned on her what was going on.

“You came in and wanted to do something really crazy with your hair.” 

“Yea, and I asked your sister to dye it the most obnoxious color she had. Like something bright enough to blind my opponent.”

Tyler was so fully committed, he had even begun to fool himself, “And I was actually the one who suggested the yellow. Didn’t know it was him until we bumped into each other in the octagon.”

“It was such a huge coincidence, but we just kicked it off from there.” Josh shrugged, “Went out and had some post-fight tacos after that.”

Most of the looks they recieved were skeptical- up until Lynn started to crack up.

Pete grew even more confused as he looked between everyone, “Wait, is that really what happened? I’m so lost.”

Lynn hunched forward, resting her face in her hands, “Oh my God, Pete.”

“No,” Tyler smiled, “Not even close.” 

Andy shook his head with a smirk, “Jesus Christ, you had me fooled.”

“You two practically read each others minds! That was adorable.” Lynn commented as she sat back up, not really catching herself when she insinuated their relationship.

Josh chuckled, “Yea. _So_ adorable.”

Tyler side-eyed him. More like an agitated boyfriend who was giving a warning, but it had all been taken as a joke; just some teasing that blended into the rest of the bantering that had already been going on.

::::::::::

Over the course of the next hour, it became pretty apparent that there _was_ something going on between Lynn and Hayley.

After getting an unexpected text and announcing that she had to head out, the blue-haired girl kissed Lynn, quite blatantly, on the lips. And if that hadn’t confirmed it, the trading of ‘love you’s’ would have.

And no one around batted an eye. 

It left Tyler wondering.

Always wondering, the same questions, over and over.

What would happen if he, in his current reigning position and social status, opened up the closet door like that in front of all of his fans... all of his peers... everyone in the martial arts world? Surely a time would come where, willingly or not, that would happen- but even with the fame, would they be just as accepted?

Tyler was worried.

As he looked across at Josh, who was so innocently unaware of the crisis that plagued his mind as he smiled brightly at the boy, Tyler realized he wasn’t the most concerned about himself.

He was concerned for Josh, and how it would affect his entire life.

Would they become the faces of UFC’s most scandalous relationship? Would it _be_ considered scandalous, especially if they were to fight again?

... _Would_ they fight again?

_No. Not again. Don’t think about it here._

Anxiety from the once repressed thought crept through every bone in Tyler’s body, but he couldn’t help it. Especially not as he watched the current fight.

Punches. Kicks. Elbows.

Blood.

A flashback to standing in a cage with a red-smeared arm.

“Tyler, what’s wrong?”

His eyes darted over to Josh with surprise, and then around at the others with mild embarrassment as he stood up from his seat, “Uh, nothing... I’ll be right back.”

::::::::::

Luckily for Tyler, the rain had stopped- leaving behind fresh, clean air and thinning clouds. To spare his jeans from getting soaked if he were to sit on the steps, he opted to lean up against a metal rail and gaze out into an adjacent parking lot; picking at a growing hole in his sweatshirt’s sleeve. 

He had to pull himself together. This couldn’t keep happening. The constant back and forth force inside his mind was jerking him around like a dog on a short chain.

He felt like he _needed_ this, though... but why?

He felt like he needed to keep fighting because it’s what he was built to do. It wasn’t just a job, it was a lifestyle- and it made him feel like he was living for something. It pushed him forward and made him focus his energy on something productive.

But he also felt run down. The pain, the stress, the burden of something that didn’t leave much time for anything else... it got hard.

Sometimes he swore he hated it. That he regreted it. Sometimes he stepped into a cage and really did feel like a slave entering into a coliseum. Having won a fight, but feeling like he had gained nothing besides a few fractures and some bruises. 

One day feeling like he was on the top of the world, and the next as if everything was pointless.

And today- tortured by the thought of another fight against Josh.

He cared about that crazy man in every way possible; his physical well-being, his feelings, his ambitions... and here Tyler stood with Josh’s dream clenched in his hand. 

He was his greatest threat. The biggest opposer to everything he was doing. The one who was supposed to be preventing that dream from ever coming true, because it was his job.

Tyler closed his eyes and rubbed at the ache between his temples. What was he supposed to do?

The door behind him suddenly opened, and he spun around to see Lynn.

She gave a gentle smile as she stepped outside to join him, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“We were wondering where you went. Josh wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Yea, I’m fine. Just needed some air.” 

She took a few steps closer, “You sure about that?”

He shrugged as he directed his gaze to the distance, not exactly feeling like opening up to someone he didn’t really know, “Yea. Just got a lot on my mind.”

Lynn joined him at the railing, climbing up to sit on the top bar, “So it wasn’t, like, anything that happened or got said in there, right? Because Pete can be an ass and I apologize for anything he-”

“No, nobody said anything.” Tyler chuckled, “It’s just... I’m trying to figure something out that’s been bugging me.”

“Oh... well, do you want to talk about it? Could I help?”

“Nah, but thanks. You don’t have to worry about it. Besides, I don’t really think it’s something you can help with.”

“Well, how about Josh?”

Tyler glanced over at her, and  but didn’t say a word. Apparently he didn’t have to- his body language did all the talking for him.

“Oh... it’s about him, huh?” She asked softly.

Tyler caved in and nodded after a brief moment, “The one thing he’s been training for... fighting for... bleeding and sweating for... I have. And I’m not supposed to let him get it.”

He heard her take a slow, deep breath after realizing what he meant.

Apparently the weight of their situation was suffocating her as well.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to drag you into this.”

“You didn’t  _drag_  me into anything.” She let out a dramatic sigh, “But, yea... that’s a hard one.”

Tyler snorted, “You’re telling me. I just don’t know what to do... I feel like it should be obvious, but it just isn’t.”

“Have you ever talked to him about it?”

“Yea... well- no, not really... I mean... I’ve mentioned that I might want to retire, but he always tells me not to... but how the hell does something like this not bother him?”

Lynn squinted up at the sunlight that had suddenly broke free from behind the clouds, causing the raindrops on the metal railing to glisten, “Maybe he found something that brings him more happiness than a belt ever could.”

Tyler raised his head, his eyes more lively and expressive than just moments ago as that thought sunk in. A warm feeling took over, causing the same kind of fuzziness he felt that day in the grass underneath the sunset.

Her comment offered no real solution, but it brought him solace and influenced the decision he had silently just made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I threw Pete, Hayley, and Andy into this story before really developing something for them to actually add to the plot (they barely even had any dialogue... I know) so sorry about that. 
> 
> Hopefully I can come up with something for them later on in a different chapter... we’ll see.
> 
> Also, I try my best not to contradict anything that’s been said or happened in past chapters, but the first chapter was supposed to be the only one and I made it seem pretty damn clear that Tyler was done fighting... yet here we are. We’re going to have to retcon a few things and just go with the flow ;)


End file.
